Thor Vs. The Cobra And Mr. Hyde, A Two-For-One Special!

Issue #105, Journey Into Mystery (June 1964)

The Mighty Thor “The Cobra And Mr. Hyde!”

Today really wanted me to make this post tonight.  It was Thor’s Day for me, a couple of days early, because here’s what arrived on my doorstep: A Mighty Thor wireless keyboard, A Mighty Thor wireless mouse, and a copy of Journey Into Mystery Issues #83-100 all in one book.

So, you could say the universe was kinda trying to kick me in the ass to stop futzing around and get down to business.

And what better issue to do that with than #105, in which we see the return of two of Emo!Thor’s most dastardly villains: Cobra and Hyde.  It just never ends for our intrepid hero, does it?

ONWARD!

We open in the headquarters of our favorite dream-team, The Avengers, and they’re all sitting around looking quite bored.  Seems things have been quiet lately…. a little TOO quiet.

Aaaand we know what that means, don't we, Emo!Thor enthusiasts? (It means excessive adjective abuse by the writers. *points to the artist info*)

What really amuses me? This does:

Cue Angsty emo-woe in 3...2....

I have to admit, I like Wasp. I like her a lot.  There’s something about her snarkiness that appeals to me.  Ounce for ounce, this little firecracker has more awesomeness in one tiny antennae than Harlot!Jane has in her entire body on a GREAT hair day!  Think I’m kidding?

*beams* Atta' girl!

But enough about Wasp.  Emo!Thor hammers off into the wild blue yonder, his Asgardian senses tingling… as though there might be danger a-foot!  It’s almost like he’s about to run into an old Nemesis, someone who eluded his grasp in an earlier issue:

Hang on a sec...

The Cobra makes a break for it, having been spotted, Emo!Thor in hot pursuit.  Elusive!Cobra realizes that if HE doesn’t stop Thor now, he’s going to be running for a good long while.  He deploys three vials of his delayed-action cobra venom vials.  They work in two stages: First, they burst into light, and then they mess with your mind:

Whoa.

And while our hero is distracted with having his awareness forcibly expanded, Cobra hits him with the Cobra cable, yanking him off-balance.  But, as the comic informs us, making Emo!Thor lose his balance and defeating him are two completely different things.  When he’s finally regained his senses, he realizes that Cobra has escaped into one of the nearby window alcoves, but with the vast number of them, he’s not sure which one it is.  Emo!Thor decides to wait it out, and we shift perspective:

Oh is that so? How many scientists do YOU know who hoard money in their apartments? That's what I thought.

But this particular scientist has a naughty little secret:

Surprise! Hyde!

Our two villains whip out their respective Evil!Peens, smacking them (and each other) around the room in a mad bid to prove that each is evil-er than the other.

I'm more evil! No, I am! No, I am! *ad nauseum*

And then suddenly, there’s a bonding moment as both super-villains realize that they’ve both battled the Thunder God and barely survived the encounter:

This broment brought to you by Emo!Thor...when you care enough to send the very best.

Emo!Thor remembers that he has a day job, masquerading as Lame!Blake and healing people for money, and so, heads off to do that very thing. Sneaking in the back window and thwack-blake-ing out, just as Harlot!Jane walks in.

Woe and angst induced Emo-Off in 3....2....

WOE NOES!

So we leave the two of them to emo each other to death and turn, instead, to our Villainous Two-Some, who are done slapping each other around, but have decided to bitch at each other about something else entirely: How best to defeat their foe.

Cobra is convinced that brute force is the way to go (funny, since that’s worked SO WELL IN THE PAST *ahem*) but Hyde has other plans.  It seems he’s developed a brand new toy that can show the past few actions of a person with just the simple press of a button.

As long as it stops before conception...It...DOES stop before conception, right?

The two conspire to catch Emo!Thor off guard with this ray, rewind his actions, and discover his super-seekret lair.  THIS PLAN IS FLAWLESS!

Meanwhile, Emo!Blake is busy distracting himself with the news again:

This is starting to become a habit. Pretty soon, he won't be able to hear a newscast without erupting into a torrent of bitter tears.

It comes over the wires that Mr. Hyde is attempting to rob a New York jewelry store, and Lame!Blake Thwack-Thor’s into action, hammering his way over there as fast as he can.  He arrives just in time, but Hyde has a surprise for him this time:

Surprise! Chemical Irritants!

And off they go on a cat-and-mouse chase, with Sneaky!Hyde leading Emo!Thor to where Cobra is hiding with the ray gun.  Since Thor is unaware of Hyde’s alter-ego, it’s easy enough for him to switch  back to being Calvin Zabro to watch the festivities commence.

It's enough to make one wonder if he's been bent like that the whole time...

The Dastardly Duo are able to retrace Thor’s steps all the way back to where he emerged from Don Blake’s office window, but there, the image stops! Neither villain can figure out why, but the one thing they can both agree on is that they should start their search for Thor there, in the tiny little office of one Doctor Don Blake.

Yup. He's still there. Emoing.

But what’s this? Our Emo!Blake has let the little black cloud overshadow his judgment to a disturbing degree:

*facepalm* Really? REALLY BLAKE?

Our baddies show up only to discover that there is no Emo!Thor to be found in this office. Nay, instead they find themselves face to face with Lame!Blake, in the throes of angsting.  They demand to know where their nemesis is hiding:

Uh...yeah. Rough him up a bit. That'll get him talking.

Meanwhile, across town, we get a sneak peak at just what a date with Harlot!Jane is like:

Wow...just... wow, Jane.

Poor Paul, eager to be rid of her, turns the car around and takes her back to the office.  She rushes in “to check on” her would-be-boyfriend, only to find herself in an embrace of an entirely different sort:

Remember ME, Jane? I'm still working on the whole "King of the Seas" situation, but in the meantime, how ya doin'?

In a desperate bid to save Jane, Lame!Blake promises that if they take the wooden cane out of the locked steel cabinet, that he’ll help them summon Emo!Thor.  And this is where we learn that it’s not just Lame!Blake able to force the transition.

Never daring to believe that a weakling like Blake would possibly lie to them about this, they oblige him, both staring out the window expectantly as they thwack the cane on the floor.

Now wait just a damned minute...

Every one in the room apparently missed the quick-change, even Harlot!Jane was too busy staring out the window in anticipation of her idol stopping by for a chat.  Hyde suddenly tumbles to the ground, the weight of Mjolnir too great for him to wield, and then it dawns on them that the object of their obsession has arrived.  But where did Lame!Blake disappear to?

TA-DAAAAAH!

As the Devious Duo scatters like roaches suddenly exposed to bright light, Emo!Thor takes a moment out of his rescue to reveal what Lame!Blake MUST have been thinking taking such a risk like that in the face of danger:

Riiiiight. I can totally see him doing that.

Emo!Thor orders Jane to stay put as he takes off after his foes.  Since Cobra has made a break for it, Thor decides to focus his efforts on finding Hyde.  And along the way, he comes to a realization:

And not a moment too soon, lemme tell ya! GO TEAM THOR!

Hyde leads him on a merry little chase, all of it part of his “plan B”, and although Emo!Thor claims to be wise to Hyde’s scheme, he still goes along with every step.  When Hyde runs into a Colosseum full of innocent bystanders, Thor rushes in, determined to make sure none of them are harmed.  But that doesn’t work so well when Hyde decides to start forcing Thor’s hand:

Oh dear. Oh dear dear dear. *girlie scream*

Emo!Thor decides to use his powers defensively, still under the misguided impression that he’s only up against Mr. Hyde, when in reality, he’s ALSO having to worry about The Cobra sneaking up behind him.  IN A ROBOT!

Wow. Y'know, I have to give Cobra credit: He figured out something very important that I'm sure will become a problem in later issues for our Emo!Thor.

Robot!Cobra tucks Mjolnir away in a safe compartment while the ever expanding cloud of woe and tragedy nearly consumes our hero as this issue draws to a close:

Oh NOES!

Stay tuned!  In the next issue, we find out what happens to our beloved Emo!Thor as the big baddies menace him further!

~Go Team Thor!
The Snarkstress *H*


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