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Issue #186, The Mighty Thor (March 1971)

The Mighty Thor “Worlds At War!”

Thundering!Thursday, Emo!Thor Enthusiasts!

Yup. Summer has officially come to Seattle and the drama-queening has already started. I’m willing to bet (because you won’t catch me out there actually LOOKING) that there’s already a dangerous shortage of portable A/C units and bottled water. BECAUSE SUMMERTIME IS SERIOUS BUSINESS, Y’ALL! This “heat wave” of “94 – 96” degree weather is only supposed to last 2 whole days. So you can BET the news will be talking about Summergeddon 2012 for the next week.

And the funniest thing? I’ll *still* be wearing my Thor hoodie outside. True fax.

My parents can actually attest (as can Dragon) to my dedication to wearing long sleeves, no matter how hot it is outside. I caught so much flak for it when I was a teenager living on a tropical island, and Dragon has learned to just shake his head and laugh.

In other news, Gamefly continues to have a warped sense of humor about the games it chooses to send me. I now have in my possession, not only The Amazing Spiderman, but also Portal 2. Now, don’t get me wrong, I adore puzzle games. Seriously. Back in the day, I had to beg to get the PC game series The 7th Guest and The 11th Hour. And. I. LOVED. IT. Every twisted, freaky second. In fact, I think I enjoyed it more because it was in the day before “walkthrough guides” online at the touch of a key, so every puzzle I managed to complete felt like I’d just won the freakin’ gold medal for mental gymnastics.

And initially, Portal held the same appeal. Perhaps I just haven’t gotten far enough into the first one to fully appreciate the dynamics, but after several hours of gameplay, I found myself going, “Meh. Needs more swords.” I have somewhat high hopes for the sequel, but considering it won’t get any face time until I’m done with Assassin’s Creed 2 and Spidey, well, I don’t think I’ll have to worry about it all that much. I’m just amused that the game I really wanted to play (and had next on my list) was Darksiders 2. Ah well. I’m just happy to have games to keep me de-stressed.

In other, OTHER news: We’ve surpassed 100 subscribers to the podiobooks podcast of Minutes To Midnight, and have gotten fantastic reviews. Good reviews always brighten my day!

AND! I’ve noticed that there are a few more eyes paying attention to this blog as well! *waves* Thanks for reading! I hope you’re enjoying my rambling snarkiness. Don’t be afraid to comment. I promise, I don’t bite. Hard.

ONWARD!

When last we observed our leucous!luminary, he was in a far distant land, having rode to the rescue of Daddy!Odin after a disturbingly frantic long distance call to Asgard. The troubles immediately piled on as he battled Goro!Guardian and got his first taste of Master!Infinity, culminating in an unfortunate transformation into Lame!Blake after a a Thor-tex took his zombified friends back home and kept his hammer from returning to his hand in the allotted 60 seconds. Unfortunate because, aside from being on a strange planet, Goro!Guardian just woke up from his Infinity-induced nap. And guess what? The cavalry is too busy battling his own mess to keep from coming to our hero’s aid:

It seems that Infinity is giving Odin a bit of a run for his money:

But lest you think he’s forgotten about his son having run to his rescue, relax:

While he may not be able to abandon his current predicament, he IS able to lend a little help to our hero:

Not to be outdone, Infinity decides to raise the stakes:

Renewed with purpose (and significant muscle) Thor delivers a hammer strike that takes Goro!Guardian right off his feet and puts him out of commission for all of 30 seconds:

Naturally, our hero charges right on back into battle, because that’s what he does, smashing through the boulder that Guardian is prepping to lob at his noggin:

Cleverly, Mjolnir becomes a whirlwind around Guardian after this last knock down:

Infinity’s shenanigans have Thor’s dander up and he does what any good hero would do next in this scenario:

When Infinity responds by misting up the place, Thor calls on his power over the elements and stops that plan right in its misty tracks:

In the distance, he sees the battle raging on between Odin and Infinity, and decides it’s time for him to lend a little golden-haired muscle to the mix:

Before he can get there, he’s interrupted by Silent!One:

Paused!Thor is so riled up, he’s ready to deliver a few well placed hammer blows to S!O for daring to bar his path, but again Daddy!Odin manages to stop him before he goes all Thor!Smash:

And, naturally, Daddy!Odin is annoyed:

While this whole exchange is taking place, another world is vanished by Infinity and the battle of rawr!faces escalates:

S!O, perhaps in an act of self preservation, motions our hero away and RAWR!THOR reluctantly follows along, but he doesn’t go willingly:

Back on earth, the scientists who initially were freaking out about the universal disturbances caused by Odin’s battle, are still freaking out:

As if we needed more proof that things are Very Very Bad ™ out there, we flash to outside where it seems flooding and fires rule the day:

Meanwhile, in Asgard:

For their own safety, the Warriors!Three are locked up as G!V and Sexay!Sif go back to stare at the increasingly unsheathed Odin!Sword:

Unfortunately, while they’re busy not-figuring out a solution, there’s a knock at the door:

Seems the trio has a directive to make sure the Odin!Sword leaves the scabbard completely:

Sif whips out her sword and tries to reason with Fandral, while she does, Hogun slips by and heads for the Sword, preparing to go all Mace!Smash on it. Before he can, however:

He manages to sidestep Volstagg’s attack and then faces off with Hogun as G!V calls in reinforcements. Rather than daunting them, Fandral demands that they all fight until they fall. The palace guards comply, dogpiling until they can’t possibly get up, allowing them to be led back to their cell:

Meanwhile, out on Bifrost, Heimdall feels the bridge shake and gets all, “WHERE IS THOR??” As if in answer, we head on over to peek in on said absentee-hero being led into a misty, cloudy land by S!O. Thor is uncomfortable with the way things are going, and we soon learn why:

Seems Horny!Hela has a little bone to pick with Thor:

She decides it’s time to drop a little knowledge:

Thor naturally objects and Haughty!Hela tells him he’s all part of a Master!Plan and it’s time for the next step in said plan:

Deathproof!Thor says her NAY, because that is NOT how his game is played:

To our hero’s dismay, it appears Hela’s Death!Zap has one very disturbing side effect, y’know, despite the death angle:

Wrinkly!Thor refuses to go down without a fight:

Triumphant!Hela is totally over him and poofs-out, leaving him with S!O:

Bizarrely enough, something very weird is going on with ol’ S!O:

And then?

AND THEN?

Along with the magic touching comes an unexpected, and very welcome, surprise:

Unfortunately, the youthful glow comes with a price:

Renewed!Thor promises to be worthy of S!O’s sacrifice and flings himself off through the cosmos to save Daddy!Odin. Speaking of, let’s check on his lordliness, reaching a point in the fight against Infinity where he might actually be able to see the FACE of the black tendrils that have plagued him so:

From his flight, Worried!Thor hears Odin’s anguished EEP and soars closer to his aid:

It becomes very quickly apparent to poor Thor that Daddy!Odin’s lost the fight:

Until Monday!

snarkstressig


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