Issue #174, The Mighty Thor (March 1970)
The Mighty Thor “The Carnage Of The Crypto-Man!”
Thundering!Thursday, Emo!Thor Enthusiasts.
It’s been quite a week around here at Hus af Snark. For those of you paying attention, we ran a test promotion on the e-book version of Minutes To Midnight over at Amazon on the 20th. And may I say, it was an unmitigated success! Over 500 copies flew out into Kindles and e-readers all over the globe. And to celebrate? We’re doing it again.
This Sunday, April 29th, to celebrate the two month anniversary of publication, we’re offering it free via Amazon.com for another 24 hours. So if you missed out on the last one, here’s your last chance! Now, for those of you with Nooks and other e-readers, the book will be available at the end of May, but you can already get hard copies via bn.com or by ordering it through your favorite brick n’ mortar store. Don’t worry, I’ll keep everything updated over at the book’s blog.
*quivers with giddy delight*
In other news, April showers have brought forth slugs and my arachni-foes. The slugs I can handle. They are merely squishy, slimy, and harmless. They move slowly and I can avoid them for the most part. My arch-nemeses, however, have taken to taunting the cats into chasing them UNDER things, flinging themselves willy nilly at my face in the dark, and I could’ve sworn I saw one peeking at me from atop the bookcase.
And goodness, it’s definitely getting bright out. Granted, I am happy that we’re coming up on summer, but darn it… I miss it being dark out by 7pm as opposed to lingering light until almost 9:30. *Petulant!Snarkstress is petulant.*
Also? 8 DAYS UNTIL AVENGERS!
Time for snark!
When last we spied on our golden-haired hero du jour, he was revisiting his circus days and saving the world from Ulik!Unchained. Just another day in Thor’s fabulous life. This issue opens with Emo!Thor flying through the atmosphere when he spots three strange flying objects:
Our hero finds it odd that these objects are so fascinating:
As Thor hurtles to the ground, we discover that the spinny spheres are just the manifestation of illusion beams meant to draw Thor into target position of Rando!Dood’s Hypno-stun ray. Rando!Dood makes a break for our fallen hero, who happens to fall right into Phase Two:
Seems our instigator is a micro-electronic engineer and he’s been waiting for the opportunity to come face-to-unconscious-face with one pretty-boy demigod:
Of course, it doesn’t take long before Groggy!Thor starts to come to:
Rando!Baddie takes off in his baddie!mobile, heading out of town:
He doesn’t stop until he reaches his baddie!lair, a warehouse on the outskirts of town, and once inside, reveals to us, dear readers, just what his plan happens to be:
Apparently, Rando!Baddie plans on dominating the world with his replicated army of Crypto!Men:
Crypto!Man lurches into Frankenstein-esque existence and proceeds to smash things (as newly animated cyber beings are wont to do) until his creator decides to tug on his leash a little:
Meanwhile, back across town:
But even though he waits, things just don’t feel the same:
As he gives it a few more minutes, thinking that perhaps his strength will return, Sapped!Thor has a disturbing thought:
He hammers off into the sky, searching for answers back at the office of Lame!Blake for some inexplicable reason. But as he draws near the office, he sees a disturbing sight:
But as he’s making his non-medical assessment of this strange woman’s needs, the scene grows even more alarming for our hero:
He thwack-Blake’s out on the rooftop and speeds his way down to his office where he finds the woman in distress to be someone he’s already familiar with (even if WE aren’t), one trembly Mrs. White:
But who could be causing such palpitations in this poor woman if not our blonde do-gooder?
Seems Jasper went missing a few months ago and poor Mrs!Whyte hasn’t had a moment’s peace since. But has she asked for help?
And as if that weren’t sad enough:
How is Lame!Blake to know what the man looks like:
Meanwhile, Mad!Jasper has decided to unleash his Crypto!Man on the unsuspecting public:
After smashing a few cars, Mad!Jasper hangs back and waits for the NYPD to arrive on the scene to deal with this new robotic threat. They do and, predictably, hilarity ensues:
Realizing that they won’t be able to stop him with mere bullets, they run off for help, while Proud!Jasper looks on:
Meanwhile, back in the doc’s office, Mrs. Whyte has been properly comforted and sent on her way, so Lame!Blake sits down to do a little leg work. *badum bum* He phones the first person he can think of, Captain Dunlap of the NYPD:
Hanging up, Lame!Blake takes a moment to wonder if the super strong being has anything to do with his earlier loss of power, but rather than merely speculate, he thwack-Thor’s out and heads for the skies:
He realizes that he’s still…weakened from whatever happened earlier, but still, he’s confident he’ll be able to handle anything:
Turning to face his foe:
Heading into the fray, he slaps Crypto!Creep with a hammer blow, intending to find out where he came from:
Somewhere, our hero realizes that perhaps the source of Crypto!Bot’s power is none other than his own halved strength:
Determined, Thor renews his assault, but again is one upped by his foe:
Searching for leverage, Crypto!Bot goes after a building:
One masonry attack later, Emo!Thor rethinks his strategy:
He plays dead and Crypto!Bot, like a cat who’s pawed the canary to death, moves on, disinterested, in search of another diversion:
It’s right about then that Thor realizes he has an audience:
After a short Q&A, Thor learns that the whole reason Mad!Jasper is doing this is because he was picked on. No one believed his theories of strength transference. So, he did what any mad scientist would do. He created a bot to destroy them all. Thor gets all up in Jasper’s grill:
Turning away from Jasper, Frustrated!Thor realizes he’s lost his foe. Well, until Jasper sheds a little more light on the situation and directs our hero’s attention to the sewer system:
Thor follows Jasper along the charted route, stopping outside the broken wall of the inner compound. It’s then that our hero poses another question about how on earth can Jasper not care about the lives being put at risk by his creation running rampant:
Racing inside, they find Crypto!Bot prepping to smash the reactor. Thor winds up to fling his hammer, but Jasper stops him, because if the reactor is hit by the hammer blow, who KNOWS what will happen:
Concerned!Jasper, suddenly all woe about mommy dearest, comes up with a plan:
There’s a blinding SHOOSH of light and when the smoke clears:
Emo!Thor immediately realizes that, though his strength is returning, there’s one more thing he’ll have to do:
Until next week!