Emo!Thor Grabs A Blanket


Issue #189, The Mighty Thor (June 1971)

The Mighty Thor “The Icy Touch of Death!”

Thunderous!Thursday, Emo!Thor Enthusiasts!

The weather has taken a turn for the chilly around here again (FINALLY).

Some of our favorite shows are back on the toob, with a few newbies making it into the mix, so we’ve been playing catch-up. Surprisingly, there are a few of the newer ones that weren’t horrifically as bad as I thought they would be, thus saving them into the “3 episode” queue. A quick explanation: We have what we call the “3EQ” wherein new shows get exactly three episodes to impress us. I try to rarely make the decision based on just the pilot because there have been plenty of shows that would’ve been snipped after seeing the first episode.

I’ll go into this in more detail on Wednesday, but suffice it to say, we’ve been pleasantly surprised by the networks’ offerings thus far.

Also? Something new in the Geek Treats, I Heart Superheroes pendant line:

Speeeeeaking of….


The last time we checked in on the Prince of Thunder, he was saving Daddy!Odin from the stolen, sentient piece of himself, thereby preventing the utter destruction of all worlds in the cosmos. Pretty awesome right? Well, shortly after Odin set everything back on course he dropped the bombshell on our hero that since Hela didn’t get her icy hands on HIM, she’d most likely come for Thor:

While the emo drips out all over the couch, and our hero woes away his worries, Daddy!Odin takes note:

Thankfully, Odin isn’t quite ready to give up as easily:

Suddenly, he has the answer:

Becoming human has its own set of problems, but at least it will buy some time to figure out the next cog in the plan:

Of course, though he initially agrees with Odin, Thor experiences a moment of doubt:

Off across the cosmos he goes and we turn our attention to the source of all the fear bothering everyone in Asgard of late:

Excited though she may be by the prospect of being the awesomest ever, she has a softer side:

Yes, even Faboo!Hela wants to be liked. She muses about how she brings peace to those at the end of their lives and how she banishes pain and illness with her touch:

But before she can spend too much time dwelling on her popularity problem, she gets an unexpected visitor:

Seems that Evil!loki isn’t there on a mission of revenge, just justice:

As Loki pleads his case, we switch to another drama!queen finding herself being petitioned:

‘Nilla!Wafer, never one to let another opportunity to make Balder squirm, sets forth her terms:

Balder’s answer is… well… shocking:

Dutifully, ‘Nilla’s troll!henchies roll out to kick the crap out of impertinent!Balder until ‘Nilla steps in and makes all the boys stop fighting:

Brought up short by her demand, Balder quickly goes from Angry to Woe:

Surprised and delighted, ‘Nilla soothes her poor, distraught Balder!boo:

She leads him to her magic well and proceeds to drop a little knowledge:

No sooner does he finish the cup than the effects kick in:

Thirst quenched, ‘Nilla sends him off for a little fieldtrip. To Hela’s house. And things quickly escalate:

Oddly enough, Loki seems startled by this sudden turn of events:

And like a steel trap, Loki snaps up that little tidbit and uses it to his distinct advantage:

Of course, Balder!Boo is determined to do right by his BFF and gets back up, which amuses Loki:

They clash again, and Balder learns that he’s severely underestimated Loki’s Magic!Blade:

Meanwhile, it appears that both Testy!Gods have forgotten where they are:

Stunned at the abrupt scenery change, Loki realizes that continuing on his present course of action could be a Very Bad Thing ™:

Finally alone, Balder decides it’s time to ‘fess up to what he’s done and barely manages to stagger his way into the throne room:

Balder drops, whether from exhaustion or relief, and Daddy!Odin gathers him up and carts him off to be healed:

Heading out, Daddy!Odin calls a meeting of the minds, specifically Volstagg:

He sends Voluminous!Volstagg off to earth to warn Lame!Blake about the danger and watches in his handheld Cosmi!TV:

Daddy!Odin assures G!V of Volstagg’s potential success. Right then, we flash over to Hela, who has decided it’s time to pay earth a little visit:

Unfortunately, she’s not alone in this alleyway. Lurking in the darkness, two hoodlums just looking to hassle a pretty lady like her:

When she still doesn’t comply, orange!Thug waves his gun around at her, but they very quickly realize that this was probably not the best course of action. Unfortunately for them, shooting her only leads to more trouble:

Speaking of Hela’s eyes:

Hoodlums disposed of, Hela moves on:

Pausing to emo about how even alley dogs tremble at her presence when she’s so nice and friendly:

Suddenly, her Thor!senses start tingling again and she takes off, confused to find Thor playing matador:

But as soon as her magic hits her target, he fades away:

Again she gets a Thor!Tingle and speeds off to repeat the same routine:

We find out that Daddy!Odin is the one responsible for all the Faux!Thor activity:

Meanwhile, elsewhere in NYC, Volstagg manages to get himself wedged onto a subway:

Later, at Lame!Blake’s office, a nurse pops in to let him know he has a visitor, and Volstagg spills the whole story:

Down in the streets, Pissy!Hela has arrived to take out her anger on the poor citizens of NY:

It doesn’t take long before news of the suddenly aging NY Firemen hits the radio and, thusly, Lame!Blake’s ears. Concerned for the people trapped in the burning building (because, psh, what’s a few aging Firemen, right?) Blake Thwack-Thor’s out and hammers off to the scene. He finds several fire victims perched on the building ledge and offers them a ladder to cling to while he figures out what to do about the ones still INSIDE:

Of course, Hela decides to pipe right up and let him know that she’s arrived:

Our hero cannot bring himself to let others die because he refuses to give her what she wants, and so:

Hela is so pleased by his surrender that she restores the youth to the wrinkly!humans and dispenses with her silly mortal costume:

Until Monday!


Got something to say?