Issue #188, The Mighty Thor (May 1971)
The Mighty Thor “The End Of Infinity!”
Thunderous!Thursday, Emo!Thor Enthusiasts!
Still recuperating from the Texas trip. It’s truly amazing how much you realize you need another vacation once you’re back from the most recent one. It’s tough to get back in the game when you sit there going, “Wow. A week ago, I was chillin’ in the car with my folks, speeding down 410.”
More observations (because y’all know I wasn’t done last time, right?):
#16 – Mom’s car is awesome. No really. This car has literally every bell and whistle you could possibly imagine and a few you can’t. I’m surprised the damned thing doesn’t just have autopilot to make it complete. I covet this car. It’s bigger than mine (no, it’s not size envy, I swear) and I just wished that I could pack it in my check-in luggage to take it with me. Naturally, it’s WAY out of my price range, but damn. I’m watching you, car. *eyeballs it*
#17 – Texas thunderstorms are amazing. I should file this under “Duh” but I had seriously forgotten how awe inspiring it is to watch a clear blue sky turn steadily black as the storm clouds roll in. The heaviness of the air, the smell of petrichor after it’s over, the flashes of lightning playing through the clouds. All of it. Even the intense downpour has a serene but violent beauty to it. That was our gift to Texas, along with the cooler weather in the evenings, because we sure as heck don’t get thunderstorms like that up here. It’s still not enough to convince me to move back (given the infrequency of the occurrence) but still… it was nice to see.
#18 – Fifty Shades of Grey is EVERYWHERE. Okay, look. I understand the appeal of the Twilight saga… IF you’re a teenager. I haven’t read the books (more on that in a moment) but I *have* seen the movies (I like to know what it is I’m bashing) and I can totally see the pull to a teenager who’s never experienced what real love is like and has to deal with rushing hormones and OMGNOBODYUNDERSTANDSMEWOE! I was there once. Well, a few times. But I was but a wee Snarkstress coping with the same insecurities everyone goes through at that time in life. I do not, and will *never*, understand Twi-moms, even if they’re just trying to desperately reconnect with that feeling. What I understand even less is the popularity of 50 SoG. No. Really. We were lined up, ready to board the plane leaving Texas and a woman in her mid 60’s or so was standing in front of us with a half-read copy of the book clutched in her hand. Seriously, folks? I’ve read reviews, and, at the challenge of Dragon, am reading the thing aloud so that he can share in my bewilderment. I’m five chapters in and I already want to rip out my eyeballs and flood the sockets with bleach. The writing. Is so. Bad. Even on my WORST day, I couldn’t achieve this level of horridness. The protagonist, Anastasia Steele, is one emergency room ride away from being locked up as a danger to herself and others. (*she muttered, blushing, tripping over herself as her heart raced to near tachycardia levels, while desperately trying to figure out why her feet aren’t working to keep her aloft. Oh my…wow…double crap.*) I just… yeah. No words.
#19 – They aren’t kidding about everything being big in Texas. Except my mom’s animals (Glenn Beck and Penny excepted). Here in Seattle, if you order a “large” something, you’re more likely to get a medium. That’s just the way we roll around here. Portion control is hella easier up this way and after four years of it, we’ve gotten used to it. Down there? Oh my gods. You order a large, you better be prepared to be handed something that makes you wonder if you even have enough room in your bladder to process it all. Case in point: We went to Freddy’s for some much needed blended concrete goodness. Because. That’s why. I ordered a mini since I didn’t want to completely spoil dinner (BEING A GROWN UP, FTW!) and had to do a double-take when I was handed what would be a medium up here. Seriously, Texas? That didn’t stop me from devouring it as though it were the last concrete I’d ever eat (it won’t be…they have them up here, but damn, chocolate peanut butter with cashews… *sigh*) but by the time I was halfway through I suddenly realized why it’s so easy to gain weight in Texas. Every portion is huge. I felt my scale’s electronic gaze on me the second I walked in the door. Judging me. Right there along with the Feline Mafia.
#20 – Moving was the best decision we’ve ever made. Aside from getting married, that is. Because we love this city, and I fall more in love with it every day. Being away made me appreciate what we have here. And though I love my parents (and would love to see them move closer), this is the only place for us.
In other news, I’m also about to be an Aunt. Or will be, come the end of March. I’d express my excitement but I don’t think this page could handle that much squeeing. Also? Keep your ears out for a new segment that I’m planning to do. A podcast, if you will, called the Wednesday Walkthrough, wherein I ramble at you about the games, movies, television, books, and other sundry that I’ve been consuming over the course of the week. I don’t know yet it if it will be a once a week or a once a month podcast, that’s up for debate. But I had a few positive responses to my last audio rambling and considering this was *supposed* to be a podcast in the first place, well. There you go.
Enough rambling. BRING ON THE THOR!
When last we saw Emo!Thor, he had learned the truth of Infinity after switching into Blake-mode and spending a little time with the Cosmi!TV. The rest of the crew waited with baited breath to hear this “truth” about Infinity and it seems the time has come for our hero to finally reveal what he’s learned:
Despite Sexay!Sif’s encouragement, Thor is … hesitant:
He meanders away, emo dragging him into the depths of confused woe:
From his vantage point, he looks down at the city and sees all the potential devastation, caused, in part, by the relentless unsheathing of the Odin!Sword:
He watches BFF!Balder try to rally the spirits of the Asgardians who are, clearly, freaked the hell out, and even turns his eye to ‘Nilla and Loki:
He spends a bit longer musing about the invasion of trolls and giants, and the valor of the Warriors!Three, newly released from their enchantments, and then his inner monologue (which is seriously starting to stretch waaaaay too long by this point) turns to the hopelessness of the situation:
Emo!Thor emoes about Earth being destroyed, how silly the poor humans are, trying to war and religion themselves out of this predicament, while still others simply panic:
And of course, rather than get right down to it, Troubled!Thor decides to take everyone on a little trip through the way-back machine to when (in issue #177) Daddy!Odin was sleeping in his pillbox out in the Death!Dimension:
And WHO is that shape menacing the Royal!Pillbox?
But before she can enact her nefarious plan that we are still unsure of, BFF!Balder comes hurtling towards the pair and we all know what happened:
Interloper dealt with, Faboo!Hela returns to the task at hand:
Unfortunately, killing Odin proves… difficult:
But rather than be discouraged, Hela proceeds to make lemonade out of lemons:
She lets Balder free Pillbox!Odin, knowing that the game is truly afoot:
And unleashed on the cosmos, Infinity!Odin goes all super evil:
And we’re back to Thor, who emos about whether or not Odin can triumph against himself, leading Balder to ask the obvious question:
Naturally, our hero takes exception to being told he’s already lost:
And he’s off and running in Pep-Talk mode, trying to bolster his fellow warriors’ flagging morale:
He calls up a mighty storm, the only way he can:
And the foes of Asgard find themselves flung willy-nilly as it rages across the cosmos, until, ultimately, the storm reveals what’s really going on with Daddy!Odin:
Now here’s the funny part. We know that the storm was busy flinging Asgardian foes around, but what our hero hadn’t counted on was the effect that it would have on his beloved earth:
Back in Asgard, ‘Nilla!Wafer and Loki are having a hell of a time trying to keep the magic flowing:
She flings a spell out into the cosmos, hoping to snap Odin out of his Infinity!Induced trance, but it doesn’t work:
After a moment of self-woe, Renewed!Loki decides it’s time to stop sitting around like an Asgardian bump on a cosmic log:
Apparently, Loki’s helmet is the source of his power (who knew?) and ‘Nilla joins with him to strengthen her own spell:
One last push of the spell and it flings out into the cosmos and manages to drive back Infinity!Odin from fully possessing Daddy!Odin, but only briefly:
Unfortunately, it doesn’t buy as much time as he’d like, and so, Lamenting!Loki starts whining:
Meanwhile, in the throne room, G!V sits and emos quietly:
The melodrama follows him as he pays a visit to the unsheathing Odin!Sword and he despairs, but suddenly:
Everyone rushes to Thor’s side, having heard his call, and it’s a cornucopia of Asgardian’s finest:
Everyone turns their attention to our hero:
‘Nilla starts the spell and Thor starts flinging about his hammer, which ends up being rather alarming for Sexay!Sif:
So it seems that Thor’s grand plan is to use his hammer to combine all their powers and allow ‘Nilla’s spell to fling it out at the slowly merging Infini!Odin pair:
And fly it does (the powers), impacting the pair with a giant explosion that leaves Daddy!Odin suddenly no longer entranced and staring up at his foe while Thor and his crew stand, breathless with anticipation:
Aware!Odin gets a hold of himself (literally) and swoops the Infinity!Odin into a whirlwind, watching as he disappears:
Back on Asgard, Thor and the others get their answer in the form of a fireball hurtling toward them:
Happy to be met with such a welcome, Odin has unfinished business:
Waving his scepter around, Odin magically undoes all the damage to earth and erases the memories of every single person as to what transpired. Then he deals with the other problem awaiting his attention:
Unfortunately, Thor notices that Daddy!Odin isn’t all smiles and joy about being home safe n’ sound:
Seems that though Hela was thwarted from her goal of claiming Odin’s soul, she’s going to be expecting *something* to tide her over. And I’ll give you three guesses what that might be: