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Issue #163, The Mighty Thor (April 1969)

The Mighty Thor “Where Dwell The Demons!”

Thundering!Thursday, Emo!Thor Enthusiasts!

One more day until my birthday. Three more days until Christmas. *Whew* Does the madness ever end?

We had a less-than-stellar anniversary because the Universe decided it would be fun to see how many obstacles it could throw in our path. It started with the car not wanting to start so I could get Dragon to work on time, followed by spending the day trying to find a mechanic that wasn’t going to shaft us on the cost of replacing the battery cables. And THEN the internet went out (well, the wireless anyway) and the huge hassle that followed ended up with a tech spending 2 hours in our house just trying to get the stupid thing working again.

At least the Universe decided to reward me for my not having a total meltdown by gifting me with coffee, a Kindle Fire, and the Woot shirt I’ve been waiting for. Yay for that. Seriously, you have to laugh, otherwise, you’ll just be a crying wreck. And that’s no fun for anyone.

Yesterday we went to a little German deli across town to stock up on Christmas Eve sandwich stuffs. They were out of brötchen (boo!), but they had the most AMAZING ham and salami. And gelbwurst! And butter cheese! And that’s not even counting all the other awesome European products they were peddling. Definitely on my list of faboo places to hang. The only drawback is how far away it is, but then, that had more to do with traffic than with actual distance.

Today, yours truly gets to go ham shopping for Christmas dinner. Color me excited. {/sarcasm} I just hope I don’t have to get violent with anyone in the grocery store because there is something about this time of year that just makes people act more idiotic than usual.

Speaking of violence…

ONWARD!

When last we left our flaxen-haired hero, he was speeding toward earth, hell-bent on saving the Sexay!Sif because, really, he’s under the impression she can’t take care of herself. And that is where we pick up in this issue, with Hero!Thor standing on a rooftop in NYC, emoing about having to find his lady love.

He spies an armored convoy speeding through the streets, soldiers yelling at the citizens to clear the area because there’s some big emergency taking place. Of course, that can only mean one thing:

He hammers after the convoy, soldiers talking about how they never believed that Thor could actually fly, but now that they see it first hand, buddy, they are BELIEVERS! When the cars finally slow down, Thor follows:

It would appear that there’s some weird glowy column in the center of the city. No one knows what it is, or where everything inside it has gone, and they warn our hero to keep his hands off because they *really* have no clue what it’s all about. And then the guy in charge says the exact WRONG THING to keep Emo!Thor on his best behavior:

Vexed by his hammer’s inability to break through, they see a shape approaching from the other side:

Meanwhile, back in Asgard, Daddy!Odin is in a pensive mood:

He sends for the “Keeper of Antiquities” who promptly arrives with his “Book of Ages”:

But he’s unable to find the secret of the incubation chamber from which HHH!Galactus spawned. And until he does, there’s still a threat to Asgard. Flashing back to earth:

The lone figure inside the yellow has been joined by others, and still our hero fights to get through despite the warnings of the soldiers behind him. Stubborn!Thor WILL get through this pee-field, damnit. Unfortunately:

They tumble to the ground inside the funnel, a tangle of bodies:

With a burst of power, Emo!Thor flings the Ugly!Mutates away from him and proceeds to open a can of righteous whoop ass on their grabby paws. They grab their weapons in retaliation and start shooting, which, naturally, escalates the ferocity of Thor’s attack.

No sooner has he asked the question than another, even uglier, Mutate appears before him. Chief!Mutate has Sexay!Sif in tow, held in place by Attracto-spheres that have rendered her helpless. Battle ensues between Thor and Chief!Mutate, with them exchanging blows…AND barbs:

Pretty!Thor takes a beating for a few nanoseconds before firing back:

Chief!Mutate prepares to use the same Attracto-spheres on our hero that hold Sif captive, but Gorgeous!Thor says him NAY and smacks the ground with his hammer:

Chief!Mutate escapes down a tunnel, and our hero decides to focus on Sif rather than go after his foe:

They hug and proceed to take a look around, finding themselves in another, more desolate version of earth:

The pair stumbles upon some old ruins that appear to be a museum of some sort, and a poster nearby showing the shift from Homo Sapien to Full Mutate confirms our hero’s worst fears:

They find the Research Center that had gone missing when the pee-funnel appeared, and our hero hammers them down to the sidewalk where someone waits for them:

Strange!Dood removes his sunglasses and suddenly, everything snaps into place:

Angry!Thor immediately preps to go in for the hammer-smack, with Sif at his side, but Doom!Pluto stops them both with a wave of his hand:

Doom!Pluto spills the beans about how he escaped (hint: there was television involved):

So he came to earth, found the Research Center and threw up the pee-funnel to transport it to where it now resides. Of course, he knew that Thor would be the biggest obstacle to his total world domination, so he abducted Sif in order to get our hero’s attention:

But before Emo!Thor can strike, Mutate!Underlings appear and blast the pair with weapons that knock both Thor and Sif out cold:

Pluto and his minions have a chuckle over taking down the Asgardian menace, but it doesn’t last long. Apparently, there’s some serious threat inside the RC that Pluto must eliminate if his plan is going to move forward:

Until Monday! Have a safe and happy holiday!

gttsig


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