The Mighty Thor vs. Loki, Part Two

21/10

Issue #88, Journey Into Mystery (Jan. 1963)

The Mighty Thor “The Vengeance of Loki!”

If, by now, you haven’t figured out who Thor’s main nemesis is…well…I weep for you.

Taking into account how, in the Prose/Poetic Eddas and the sagas of the Vikings, Thor and Loki are running buddies (even if they do butt heads from time to time), it makes perfect sense that in the Marvel Universe, they’d be bitter foes.

Loki is the perfect foil for Thor, much as The Joker is the perfect foil for Batman.

To watch the two go toe to toe is… well… hilarious.

But enough about the background…Onward!

We start our journey with the ending of Journey Into Mystery #85, the first time the two foes met.  If you’ll remember, at the end of that issue, Thor attached Loki to his hammer and sent him flying back to Asgard.


Where he crashed the party the gods were throwing in celebration of Loki finally being out of their hair.

Odin, understandably, is rather…peeved to hear that Loki’s been picking on his brother Thor, and so? He grounds him.  Because what ELSE do you do with your kid when locking him in a TREE didn’t work? So he tells him he’s grounded….forever. And, oh by the way, he can never leave Asgard.

Note the vengeful pose.

So Vengeful!Loki! sets about setting plants on fire:

(He is associated with Fire in the Norse Legends, so this is normal for him.)

And then, he indulges in a steam bath spies on Thor:

He’s practicing for Legend auditions.

He luckily sneaks a peak at Bondage!Thor! from issue #87 and catches him as he goes from Bondage!Thor! to Lame!Blake!  And he makes a particular discovery involving the 60 second rule:

Anyone else thinking “Grinch” here? I swear, if those horns weren’t already curled….

So he continues to spy on Blake, until he’s ready to make his move, but wait. There’s a problem. Odin told Grinch!Loki! to stay in Asgard and the guardian of Bifrost, Heimdall, is sure to keep him from crossing.

Would you want to mess with him? Didn’t think so.

But Grinch!Loki! is crafty. He’s sneaky…like a…

See? He’s even if he stays on the green part of the bridge, he blends in.

Once he makes it past Heimdall, he Snake!Loki! becomes Vengeful!Loki! again and gleefully dances on his way toward Thor’s destruction. He switches to Disguised!Loki! and proceeds to take advantage of Harlot!Jane! :

She was probably daydreaming about Thor again.

Hypno!Jane! doesn’t stand a chance, and after some whispered instructions, she steps aside so Disguised!Loki! can ambush Busy!Blake! who is busy doing doctoring things. I think it’s safe to say that Blake reacts much the same way anyone would if some old guy showed up in your office unannounced and proceeded to rip his face off:

Er, not quite.   But I suppose a super-hero, even in his Lame!Blake! identity, probably shouldn’t scream like a girl.

Lame!Blake! recovers quickly and Thwack-Thor!’s out, and confronts Vengeful!Loki!:

Oh. He dares. He dares A LOT!

Vengeful!Loki! issues a challenge for Thor to meet him in the park, in one hour.  And I don’t think he’s inviting him to a picnic.  Thor agrees and Loki departs unmolested by the Thunder God. Thor thwacks back into Lame!Blake! and tells Hypno!Jane! that he’s taking the rest of the afternoon off.  We see Hypno!Jane! remind us that Disguised!Loki! gave her commands to follow once Lame!Blake! is gone.

Presumably an hour later, Thor goes streaking across the sky and lands in the park, ready to rumble. Thor responds to Loki’s taunting in his predictable manner:

By throwing things. (Note: I do think this panel could only be made better by adding pew-pew laser sounds.)

Loki jazz-hands out of the way. And oh look! Hypno!Jane! What’s she doing here?

Looks like she’s there as bait. Jazz-hands!Loki! has turned a tree into a tiger to put her in illusory danger. Forcing Disarmed!Thor! to choose: His unrequited love, or his hammer. Dun dun DUN!

And if you didn’t see that one coming…well…you must still be drunk from Issue #87′s Iron Curtain drinking game.

Thor manages to defeat the illusory tree!tiger! but WOE! He has been away from his hammer too long! And we all know what happens next…

WOE!

And then Grinch!Loki! implements the second part of his plan: He puts an invisible force field AROUND THE HAMMER so Lame!Blake! can’t touch it!

Seriously. Is that not the face of someone completely FULL of glee?

Gleeful!Loki! shifts into a… dove? Pigeon? It’s a bird.  And he flies off to wreak more havoc, now that Thor is out of the way. Lame!Blake! is even MORE full of woe, but sets it aside long enough to make sure that Hypno!Jane! isn’t, y’know, dead or anything (since everyone forgot about her in the excitement).

Whew. Dodged a real bullet there, Lame!Blake! Can’t have her finding out you’re the man of her fantasies or anything.

As Lame!Blake! takes Groggy!Jane! back to her place, presumably to rest, Gleeful!Loki! is up to no good…and by no good I mean the following:

Er…okay, so maybe that’s a bit traumatic for them sure.

But this next bit? Yes, this is the Pièce de résistance:

Yes. I, too, am getting the impression that Gleeful!Loki!’s favorite game in Asgard is Candyland.

The one GOOD thing that Gleeful!Loki! does revolves around a Soviet jet conducting an atomic bomb test over the ocean.  Using his magic, he manages to turn a terrifying bomb into a dud, letting it drop harmlessly into the water.

The populace is feeling appropriately menaced and Nagging!Jane! speaks up:

Damnit Jane! HUSH! Can’t you see Emo!Blake! is trying to emo a solution?

SEE? He has his woe-face on!

While Emo!Blake! emos, the rest of the populace tries to get rid of Loki the only way they know how:

Winged-weapons of mass distraction. Obviously? It didn’t work.

Somehow, Emo!Blake! comes up with an idea and he sets it into motion the next day.  He plays on Loki’s fears by having the papers (via newsboys) announce that Thor is vowing to defeat Loki by the end of the week.  It has the predictable effect:

Suspicious!Loki! is his own undoing. He removes the force field because how could Thor POSSIBLY have gotten past it?

OMG! What a twist! Clever!Blake! outwits Loki!

But Loki is equally clever, and transforms himself into a pigeon, blending in among the OTHER pigeons, thus confusing Tricky!Thor! :

Can you find Pigeon!Loki! in that flock? Can you? No, I didn’t think so. Neither can Tricky!Thor!

His solution? Fling peanuts at the pigeons.

Curses! (I sure hope Peanut-Thief!Thor! paid for those.)

Thor steals a net in order to trap Pigeon!Loki! as he flies away.

You sure about that, Net-Thief!Thor!? Later the headlines will scream about how Thor flubbed up the last match of Wimbledon.  Tennis fans all over will be very cross with him.

Thor manages to catch Pigeon!Loki! before he can shift again.  He reverts to normal, and Thor decides to provide a personal escort this time; No flinging him willy-nilly attached to his hammer.  We saw how well that worked last time.

Oooo! Loki fears the wrath of Odin! He won’t be able to sit for weeks.

Oh, Odin! I’m sure you’ll think of something appropriate. Like…maybe…chaining him to a rock? Nah. Too simple.

Stay tuned for the next installment: Thor…vs…the Thug? Really? Did we suddenly run out of bad-guys?

~Peace
CD


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One Response

  1. [...] just how utterly devoted Emo!Thor really is to his Harlot!Jane and used it against him.  Of course, the LAST time he tried this stunt, it backfired rather spectacularly, but if at first ye don’t succeed, [...]

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