The Mighty Thor “The Vengeance of Loki!”
If, by now, you haven’t figured out who Thor’s main nemesis is…well…I weep for you.
Taking into account how, in the Prose/Poetic Eddas and the sagas of the Vikings, Thor and Loki are running buddies (even if they do butt heads from time to time), it makes perfect sense that in the Marvel Universe, they’d be bitter foes.
Loki is the perfect foil for Thor, much as The Joker is the perfect foil for Batman.
To watch the two go toe to toe is… well… hilarious.
But enough about the background…Onward!
We start our journey with the ending of Journey Into Mystery #85, the first time the two foes met. If you’ll remember, at the end of that issue, Thor attached Loki to his hammer and sent him flying back to Asgard.
Odin, understandably, is rather…peeved to hear that Loki’s been picking on his brother Thor, and so? He grounds him. Because what ELSE do you do with your kid when locking him in a TREE didn’t work? So he tells him he’s grounded….forever. And, oh by the way, he can never leave Asgard.
So Vengeful!Loki! sets about setting plants on fire:
And then, he indulges in a steam bath spies on Thor:
He luckily sneaks a peak at Bondage!Thor! from issue #87 and catches him as he goes from Bondage!Thor! to Lame!Blake! And he makes a particular discovery involving the 60 second rule:
So he continues to spy on Blake, until he’s ready to make his move, but wait. There’s a problem. Odin told Grinch!Loki! to stay in Asgard and the guardian of Bifrost, Heimdall, is sure to keep him from crossing.
But Grinch!Loki! is crafty. He’s sneaky…like a…
Once he makes it past Heimdall, he Snake!Loki! becomes Vengeful!Loki! again and gleefully dances on his way toward Thor’s destruction. He switches to Disguised!Loki! and proceeds to take advantage of Harlot!Jane! :
Hypno!Jane! doesn’t stand a chance, and after some whispered instructions, she steps aside so Disguised!Loki! can ambush Busy!Blake! who is busy doing doctoring things. I think it’s safe to say that Blake reacts much the same way anyone would if some old guy showed up in your office unannounced and proceeded to rip his face off:
Lame!Blake! recovers quickly and Thwack-Thor!’s out, and confronts Vengeful!Loki!:
Vengeful!Loki! issues a challenge for Thor to meet him in the park, in one hour. And I don’t think he’s inviting him to a picnic. Thor agrees and Loki departs unmolested by the Thunder God. Thor thwacks back into Lame!Blake! and tells Hypno!Jane! that he’s taking the rest of the afternoon off. We see Hypno!Jane! remind us that Disguised!Loki! gave her commands to follow once Lame!Blake! is gone.
Presumably an hour later, Thor goes streaking across the sky and lands in the park, ready to rumble. Thor responds to Loki’s taunting in his predictable manner:
Looks like she’s there as bait. Jazz-hands!Loki! has turned a tree into a tiger to put her in illusory danger. Forcing Disarmed!Thor! to choose: His unrequited love, or his hammer. Dun dun DUN!
Thor manages to defeat the illusory tree!tiger! but WOE! He has been away from his hammer too long! And we all know what happens next…
And then Grinch!Loki! implements the second part of his plan: He puts an invisible force field AROUND THE HAMMER so Lame!Blake! can’t touch it!
Gleeful!Loki! shifts into a… dove? Pigeon? It’s a bird. And he flies off to wreak more havoc, now that Thor is out of the way. Lame!Blake! is even MORE full of woe, but sets it aside long enough to make sure that Hypno!Jane! isn’t, y’know, dead or anything (since everyone forgot about her in the excitement).
As Lame!Blake! takes Groggy!Jane! back to her place, presumably to rest, Gleeful!Loki! is up to no good…and by no good I mean the following:
But this next bit? Yes, this is the Pièce de résistance:
The one GOOD thing that Gleeful!Loki! does revolves around a Soviet jet conducting an atomic bomb test over the ocean. Using his magic, he manages to turn a terrifying bomb into a dud, letting it drop harmlessly into the water.
The populace is feeling appropriately menaced and Nagging!Jane! speaks up:
While Emo!Blake! emos, the rest of the populace tries to get rid of Loki the only way they know how:
Somehow, Emo!Blake! comes up with an idea and he sets it into motion the next day. He plays on Loki’s fears by having the papers (via newsboys) announce that Thor is vowing to defeat Loki by the end of the week. It has the predictable effect:
But Loki is equally clever, and transforms himself into a pigeon, blending in among the OTHER pigeons, thus confusing Tricky!Thor! :
His solution? Fling peanuts at the pigeons.
Thor steals a net in order to trap Pigeon!Loki! as he flies away.
Thor manages to catch Pigeon!Loki! before he can shift again. He reverts to normal, and Thor decides to provide a personal escort this time; No flinging him willy-nilly attached to his hammer. We saw how well that worked last time.
Stay tuned for the next installment: Thor…vs…the Thug? Really? Did we suddenly run out of bad-guys?
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