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It’s All About Jane…Or Is It?

Issue #126, The Mighty Thor (Mar. 1966)

The Mighty Thor “Whom The Gods Would Destroy!”

**Snarkstress note: I accidentally posted this as private. Too much mead! Sorry folks!**

Aaaaand we’re back! Ish #126 marks the transition from “Journey Into Mystery Featuring The Might Thor” to just “The Mighty Thor”.  Yay! Emo!Thor officially made it to his very own comic.

So last we left off, Herc and Thor were about to throw down over Harlot!Jane because she lost her freakin’ mind and told our hero to shove off.  All of this came after Thor not only defeated The Demon but ALSO managed to get away from everyone in Asgard attempting to smite him, per Daddy!Odin’s directive.  Basically, Thor is getting bitchiness from all sides and it’s only a matter of time before he snaps.

Yeah, that does about sum it all up, doesn’t it?

ONWARD!

We open with Herc and Thor clashing rather spectacularly whilst hurling insults at each other. Thor is pissed that Herc hit him first, while Herc calls Thor a conceited joke. Ouch! And keep in mind, this particular kerfluffle scuffle broke out in a restaurant:

There isn’t a single insurance company in the universe who would offer coverage against Acts of Gods in this town, dood.

Harlot!Jane, the cause of all this commotion in the first place, frets in the corner about one of them getting hurt. *eyeroll* Okay, Jane. Whatevs. The jibes continue apace as the two practically whip out their peens at each other, and then Herc REALLY makes Thor mad:

*gasp* Oh no he didn’t! Oh NO he did NOT just say that! GO GET ‘IM THOR!

And while the two prepare to clash anew, with Herc obviously realizing he’s somewhat underestimated his opponent, we pop on over to Asgard, where everyone who attacked Thor during the Ritual of Steel is attempting to recuperate.  Seems they all realize the enormity of what just happened, and they all wonder just what Daddy!Odin has to say about all that’s gone down:

Oh. Crap. Odin’s got his horny hat on.

Poor Balder tries to reason with him, but Daddy!Odin will not be swayed!

Yes… yes, my precious. He will pay…just as soon as they cut to commercial on “As Midgard Turns”.

Back on earth, the fight has finally taken to the streets, and what amuses me most during this entire kerfluffle scuffle is that BOTH godlings are intent on letting the other know that they’re not trying to “destroy” each other, merely humble them a bit. Of course, this doesn’t work out because Herc LIVES to fight, just as Thor LIVES to emo:

*snort* Humble, my ass. Good thing no one was actually driving that truck. And blossoms, Thor? Really? Would you like a little cheese to go with that whine? *cue the vi-woe-lins*

Suddenly, Herc flings himself at Thor, catching him off guard and down they go, rolling about on the pavement like two siblings arguing over the PS3 controller:

I’m WARNING you, bro! Back the hell off or I’m gonna tell dad!

This fight ends up looking like a PSA on what happens when you let two godlings go at each other in the middle of town, particularly when Herc’s next blow sends the pair careening THROUGH THE GROUND to land on top of a speeding subway train.  One would think that this could wake both of them up to the danger of their unbridled mayhem:

It’s the magnets in their shoes that keep them upright.

Inside, the peeps freak out and immediately run out of the train when it stops. Do you blame them? It’s not every day that two immortals come crashing down on your transportation.

Aaaand we’re back to square one. You give up. No YOU give up.

They continue this EPIC!FIGHT out of the tunnels, into a construction zone, where Thor has an epiphany:

Oh snap. I hope Daddy!Zeus isn’t listening. Emo!Thor just totally dissed his parenting skills. Also? Who wants a hot Mjölnir injection?

Herc throws a construction vehicle wheel at Thor that actually connects, and moves in to finish the fight with one last blow:

OH SNAP! You’ve just been told, dood….with alliteration to boot!

Hercules seems shocked that Thor is capable of being angry (really?). Thor’s response?

*shiver of delight* Now THERE’S the Thor we all know and love! GO TEAM THOR!

*ahem*

Back in Asgard, Daddy!Odin is still glued to his set:

When Daddy!Odin’s throws a viewing party, all the freaks come out to play! Wacky hats are a dress code requirement! Who brought the chips?

We find out that Sinister!Guy is actually Seidring The Merciless, the highest ranking member of Odin’s council, who reminds him that justice is justice. So it would seem that Odin finally decides what’s going to happen to Thor:

*gasp!* NOOOO! Not right NOW! Listen to Seidring! Wait until it’s over at least! Another wonderful example of: Why have a council if you’re not going to listen to them anyway?

And in a display of what I can only deem utter cowardice, Odin makes another pronouncement:

Tag! You’re it! *blink* Seriously? REALLY? Poor Seidring! Why? Because he KNOWS what’s going to happen when Thor finds out who took away his power. That, dear readers, is called the “oh hell naw” face.

Back on earth, Herc and Thor both realize that something’s a little wrong:

The light! It burns us, precious!

But Hercules, never one to miss an opportunity, starts to toot his own horn ALL OVER AGAIN, just as everything was winding down.  He grabs a nearby building and proceeds to make Thor part of the foundation:

I’m noticing a trend with poor Emo!Thor: whenever he’s NOT at max power, his opponents always manage to throw buildings at him.

And Stan? You should SO be embarrassed about not knowing WHEN Odin’s dickery last happened. I totally do.*coughIssue#101cough*

*Smug Snarkstress is smug*

Initiate unintentional sexual innuendo in 3…2…

*blush* Oh my. I’ve heard releasing pent up pressure does wonders for a body. First, you gently rub the hammer…

Thor is able to narrowly escape but he knows Herc isn’t done with him yet.  Since he’s out of strength, looks like he has to rely on his cunning, because Herc? Yeah, he’s not quite so smart:

 

Nor is he zesty! Shame.

Half!Thor throws a punch which doesn’t bother Zestyless!Herc in the slightest.  Half!Thor picks up a nearby construction vehicle, but that doesn’t go quite as planned:

 

WOE! WOE and TRAGEDY! *vi-woe-lins swelling*

But not so fast! Hercules refuses to let the emo overtake Thor because that? That is unsatisfying!

 

Oh no you don't! Hercules demands satisfaction, and Emo!Thor is gonna give it to him yet! He clearly hasn't heard the Rolling Stones song. Clearly.

A few more punches and a gaggle of onlookers later, Thor finally succumbs to Herc’s strength:

 

Dear Diary, today my dad was mean and totes made me lose my epic battle. My girl ran off with my bestie. My life is woe. And darkness. And sad. FML. ~Emo!Thor

As the crowd rushes in to congratulate their newest superhero sensation, Emo!Thor takes a knee:

 

You're right, oddly frightening duo of onlookers, Herc is certainly something. Ignore the weeping Thor in the background. He's SO yesterday's news!

And once again, Emo!Thor is alone:

 

So very very alone. WOE!

But there is one left behind, one who isn’t there to insult the hell out of a fallen Emo!Thor.

 

For cryin' out loud! SERIOUSLY JANE? You wanted to make him jealous?? I don't... I can't... WHAT??

Emo!Thor is having none of it, however:

 

GO TEAM EMO!THOR! You don't need her anyway! How's it feel, Jane? He just totally dissed you....because you suck. He's going to write some tragic poetry in his little black notebook.

And then, as Harlot!Jane watches Emo!Thor trudge out of her life, someone else pipes up with some friendly advice. Someone you wouldn’t quite believe:

 

And from the COMPLETELY UNEXPECTED NEWS DEPARTMENT: Is Daddy!Odin actually telling Jane he's sorry? Has the Asgardian Allfather Atoned? More at 11!

In the next issue, we find out just what on earth Odin means, and most likely get dragged through the emotional wringer. Fantastic!

In the meantime (from Tales of Asgard):

 

You, me, a thousand of my closest flying trolls...Oh my! Now there's a woman who knows how to appreciate a Thunder God.

 

~Go Team Thor!
Snarkstress *H*


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