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Heroes Have Feelings Too!

Issue #149, The Mighty Thor (Feb. 1968)

The Mighty Thor “When Falls A Hero!”

Thundering!Thursday, Emo!Thor Enthusiasts!

It’s shaping up to be a really long day so far. Aside from several projects I’ve got simmering on the backburner, there’s still the gym to hit, writing to be done, Batstravaganza pt. 2 to get posted, and later tonight, Conan 3D to see.

On the good side, the local Starbucks Barista knows my order well enough to tell me “Your usual this morning, Snarkstress?” when I drove up. I may never have been much of a Starbucks fan (they’re conveniently consistent in a city where every few blocks is another hit-or-miss coffee stand) but I *am* a fan of great customer service and that’s exactly what I get out of her. Yay!

That, and those damned Red Velvet Whoopie Pies. So. Addictive. Just sayin’.

But you’re not here to read my coffee-sploits!

 

ONWARD!

When last we left our hero, he was duking it out with Enhanced!Wrecker all over the city, essentially getting his godly ass handed to him since he’s still powerless thanks to Daddy!Odin’s temper tantrum. Wrecker, on the other hand, has powers courtesy of a case of mistaken identity by the Norn!Queen thinking he was Loki.

And Enhanced!Wrecker is STILL more than mildly amused about it.

Naturally, Emo!Thor has a problem with being laughed at:

You may beat me, kick me, toss architecture in my general direction, but LAUGH at me? You, Sir, have gone TOO FAR!

Unfortunately for Thor, that little temper display took a lot out of him, leaving him weakened:

OMGTIRED! Is it just me or is this hammer, like, a thousand pounds right now? (*Dood. Been there.*)

Enhanced!Wrecker proceeds to smack him around some more, leaving him a crumpled heap before moving on to bigger and better things:

Meanwhile, on Asgard, Sexay!Sif and Brave!Balder look on in horror as their beloved Thor is used up and cast aside like a wet rag. They decide to try to appeal to Odin’s reason once more (although I honestly don’t know why they keep trying) and the second they leave the chamber:

THIS IS *MY* BALL! AND I AM TAKING IT HOME WITH ME!

Back on Midgard, Triumphant!Wrecker continues his spree, NY’s finest continue to attempt to thwart him, and they CONTINUE to be reminded that they suck. Emo!Thor, not long down, reappears from the fringes, determined as all get out to take Wrecker down:

Seriously, Thor is *nothing* if not persistent. Total A for effort.

Unfortunately for Thor:

SOMEONE has a really strong crowbar and is certainly not afraid to use it.

When the smoke clears, Emo!Thor is nowhere to be seen, and while Wrecker is distracted:

FOOT!SNATCH! Woo! Go team Thor! Also? The Joker? Really? Is that who you’re comparing yourself to now?

Baaaack in Asgard, Daddy!Odin continues on his supremely dickish train of thought, finally agreeing to take a gander at the crystal when Sif finally hits her knees to implore him. Unfortunately:

NO! HOW WILL WE WATCH OUR SOAPS? OH THE HUMANITY!

They quickly surmise that only one person would be so crass as to steal their viewing crystal, and Balder steps up, offering to go into the Norn!Forest after Evil!Loki. Sif chimes in with her desire to go, despite the peril, and Daddy!Odin relents:

Fine. Whatever. Get out of my hair. I’m tired of your whining. It’s always Thor, Thor, THOR!

Back on Earth, the battle rages on, and Wrecker has the upper hand yet again:

WE HAVE A THUNDER GOD DOWN, I REPEAT, THUNDER GOD DOWN!

Emo!Thor again regains his feet, and this time, Bored!Wrecker tries a different tactic:

*blink* Now that’s just rude, Wrecker. Emo!Thor is NOT a tootsie pop. Also? *WOETHRASHFLAIL* NAY!

So embarrassed by the licking comment, Emo!Thor calls on his last vestiges of strength to get himself OUT of the incredibly uncomfortable (in more ways than one) situation:

I…SAY…THEE…NAY! WOO! Go Team Thor!

He manages to shove off the bulldozer and deliver his OWN brand of Asgardian justice:

Verily, I say unto you, thou hast been TOLD.

Unfortunately, no matter how insane our hero goes on Wrecker, there’s still the little issue of his godly powers being gone. So, fight though he may, all it takes in a swipe from Wrecker’s crowbar and we’re back to square one:

Oh. Oh my. This can’t be good.

Back on Asgard, Sif and Balder make their way to the Norn!Forest to face Evil!Loki, despite Balder’s protestations about a certain someonegoing with him:

It’s just that…well, you’re a *girl*. And everyone knows that girls don’t fight as good as guys do because we have bigger muscles and stuff. So, it’s nothing personal or anything, but ew. Girl cooties.

Back on earth, Wrecker finally manages to dig through the rubble:

*GASP!* NOOOOOOOOOOO! *SOB!*

Until next week!

~Go Team THOR!
Snarkstress


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