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Emo!Thor Takes His Lumps

tmt167intro

Issue #167, The Mighty Thor (August 1969)

The Mighty Thor “This World Renounced!”

Thunderous!Thursday, Emo!Thor Enthusiasts!

Firstly, YAYZ Washington Senate for approving the marriage equality bill! *hugs it* I’m so proud to live in a state where the right to marry who you love, regardless of gender, will soon be protected. From all reports, it’ll sail right through the House and the governor will sign it into law as soon as it hits her desk. Dragon and I were watching the news this morning about it, and there was someone who’d replied to the story, saying that the bill shouldn’t be “lumped in with human rights” because, and I quote: “Being gay is a lifestyle choice.”

*drags out the soapbox and climbs atop*

Everyone is entitled to their opinion. I will not begrudge anyone their beliefs. HOWEVER. If there is one thing I cannot stand, it’s ignorance. Sexual orientation is no more a lifestyle choice than gender, eye-color, SKIN color. You are attracted to and love who you are attracted to and love. 45 years ago, Dragon and I wouldn’t have been allowed to be married because of a little difference in melanin.

In fact, the arguments against gay marriage sound disturbingly similar to the arguments against interracial marriage back in the day. My two favorites from the list?

“Allowing interracial marriages ‘necessarily involves the degradation’ of conventional marriage, an institution that ‘deserves admiration rather than execration.’”

“Interracial marriages would be a ‘calamity full of the saddest and gloomiest portent to the generations that are to come after us.’”

Yeah. Dragon and I are degrading the hell out of conventional marriage (married for 9 years), and spreading such gloom and sadness in our wake (see this ENTIRE blog). In 1967 it became legal to marry “outside” your race. And guess what? 45 years later… the world is STILL here, “conventional marriage” still exists, and life went on.

Seriously, people, just get over it. It’s about the basic human right to live and love how you choose, and if marriage is how you celebrate your love? Then, in the words of our beloved Daddy!Odin, SO BE IT.

*stashes soapbox*

Beyond all of that excitement, there was one weekend incident I forgot to mention on Monday.

Dear bearded douche in the grey truck,

I understand that you were, perhaps, in quite a hurry to get across traffic. And I’m sure you were probably quite irritated that I dared to get into the turn lane to wait for the turn signal just as you were lurching out of the parking lot. What I do NOT get, however, is how you can justify FORCING your way past the back of my car by way of pushing me out of the way via bumper just to jump two lanes of traffic. Seriously, you could’ve waited. And you’d better be damned glad I was able to keep Dragon from getting out of the car and dragging you from your piece of shit truck to beat you to death right there in the intersection. Because really, I would’ve loved to have seen that. It would’ve made me much less annoyed at the scrape marks that now adorn my bumper.

No love,

~Snarkstress

***

Also! Finally got to see Haywire. We give it a solid 4 out of 5 stars. Gina Carano still is my #1 girl crush, she did a great job and the movie was entertaining. I didn’t like the cheesy 70s music or the overdubbing, but hey, it was what it was, and we enjoyed it, because hot DAMN were the fight scenes good. I could seriously watch Gina beat up anyone all day long.

Project release date: February 29th. Why? Because it’s a leap year. And we’ve been working on this thing for so long, it deserves a special “once every four years” kinda day. Woot! More details forthcoming.

I’ve got another project already lined up on the backburner. Just need to get my hands on some FIMO clay.

Reading Third Grave Dead Ahead by Darynda Jones and loving the hell out of it, as I do with all her books. Mmm. Reyes.

Okay, I’ve rambled long enough. It’s late…I seriously need to get some sleep or I will be utterly useless later tonight.

ONWARD!

When last we left our hero, he was heading home to face the firing squad Daddy!Odin’s judgment because he dared to absolutely lose his shit when HIM decided to abscond with his Sexay!Sif. This is, of course, against the rules, so he makes his way toward the throne room with a heavy heart:

Daddy!Odin is all kinds of pissy about Thor’s lack of control, and asks him to enter his plea. Our hero, naturally, admits his guilt and Daddy!Odin proclaims his punishment to be SACRIFICE! Naturally, not everyone is pleased by this pronouncement:

Balder takes her outside so as not to disrupt the proceedings so she can have her womanly histrionics in public.

Of course, Brave!Balder does have a point about the vulnerability of earth while Thor is serving his sentence, so he decides there’s no time like the present:

Sif waves goodbye, telling him to never lose hope, and he hops onto the Asgardian!Taxi and gives directions:

Left alone, Distraught!Sif runs back into the throne room, interrupting the proceedings to plead on behalf of her boo:

Daddy!Odin is torn. See, on the one hand he wants to be merciful, on the other hand, he can’t because Thor is his son. It’s a catch-22:

He tells the sulking pair that they have to break up for a bit because he’s sending Thor to boarding school in the Swiss Alps on a mission far, far away to find Galactus:

Meanwhile, Brave!Balder finally makes it to Bifrost, pays his cab fare, and tells Heimdall that he wants to leave. That’s all well and good with the guardian, but there’s a little something he’s got to do first:

Elsewhere in Asgard:

Thirsty!Loki doesn’t understand the attraction that ‘Nilla has for Balder:

Lusty!Loki takes note that Balder is headed to earth, just as Hoary!Haag enters with a new toy:

All of a sudden, inspiration strikes:

Just to be sure Haag was telling the truth, Loki tests the theory of the enchantment:

Unfortunately for Balder, no one on earth seems to know who he is or how to help him, so they call an ambulance. Meanwhile, back in Asgard, Daddy!Odin is showing off:

Thor admits that yeah, it’s a pretty sweet ride, all things considered, but soon, he’s overcome by emo:

Our hero has a request before being shipped off into endless space, and he asks Daddy!Odin if it’d be okay to just visit earth one more time, because he loves it so. Odin says he’ll think about it before directing his son’s attention to the coolest feature on the already blindingly awesome ship:

Emo!Thor immediately suspects that something must be up. I mean, you don’t provide all access entertainment to someone who’s being *punished*, do you?

Having given the full tour of his new digs, and finding Emo!Thor duly impressed, Daddy!Odin sends him back to earth for one last look-see before departing for the unknown. First thing Thor does? Goes to check up on his hospital. Y’know, the day job he’s constantly forgetting that he has in favor of battling some great big baddie?

Thor realizes that only HE can save him:

Determined to help, our hero heads for the roof while below, unbeknownst to him, someone else plots and schemes. Thor Blake’s-out on the roof, and just as he turns to leave:

Grabby!Loki easily overpowers Lame!Blake and takes his stick. Unfortunately for Loki, though he may be lame, Blake is NOT going to give up without a fight. So Loki hits him with a Force!Bolt and prepares to leave, only to be stopped by none other than Daddy!Odin:

Naturally, Cowardly!Loki wants NO PART of Galactus, and Odin manages to chase him off:

Lame!Blake comes to, unaware of what’s happened. But when he sees his stick still on the roof where Loki dropped it, he realizes that something big must’ve happened to force Loki to give up his prize:

Meanwhile, in space:

Meanwhile, in Asgard:

Before the Blue!Doods can track down Thor, Galactus jets away in his own sweet ride, disappearing into the distance.

Meanwhile, on earth,  Lame!Blake is done saving the day:

His fellow Doctors are confused:

Blake bids his friend farewell, goes up to the roof, Thor’s-out, and takes one last flight over the city:

Until next week!

gttsig


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