couchlocked.com couchlocked.com

Bored Young Socialite…Wuxtry!

Issue #28, Detective Comics (June 1939)

The Bat-Man … Because Batsy needs no introduction.

Something I’m coming to realize about the older Batman comics, unlike Marvel’s Thor comics, is that they don’t always have a tag-line for the issue.  For example, DC #27 had “The Case of the Chemical Syndicate”, but this one skips that entirely. It’s just… The Bat-Man. And really?

It’s all you need. Because he’s the goddamned Bat-Man!

NANANANANANANA-NAAAAA! ONWARD!

We begin this issue with a bit of a recap about WHO the Bat-Man really is (bored, young socialite Bruce Wayne) and right into a paperboy heralding a recent string of robberies that has the police force stumped!  Naturally, a bored, young socialite, with nothing better to do, might see fit to try his hand at solving the crimes:

By impersonating an officer of the law and phoning his gimp, naturally.

That little tidbit in hand, the Bat-Man finds himself waiting atop the roof when the criminals are making their getaway and decides it’s time to intercede:

Aaaand... right over the edge. Good job, Batsy! One down, one to go.

The other thief, freaked out by what just happened, reaches for his gun and our hero quickly pops him one, causing him to drop his booty:

*click* That's it Batsy! Show us "guilty of perpetuating a crime"! *click* Perfect! Who's the big bad bat about town?

When the cops show up, having been alerted to the activity on the roof by the body of one jewel thief landing on the pavement below, they “catch” Batsy getting away by means of flinging himself off the roof, somersaulting away and swinging off to a new rooftop:

A perfect 10! Even the cops are impressed. Judges?

The cops seem satisfied with having recaptured the jewels and one of the thieves, and seem secure in the knowledge that Batman must be the ring-leader of the thieving ring. The next day, the paper headlines scream the obvious:

*evil cackle* Yessss. They do not expect us. Brilliant! This couldn't POSSIBLY be a set up!

Unnamed!Baddie gathers his new crew, and lays out the new plan:

Completely oblivious to the large, bat-shaped man hanging willy nilly outside the window IN BROAD DAYLIGHT.

That night, the new crew of the baddie known as Frenchy (really?), are ogling their haul, patting each other on the back for their good henchman-ing, when they get a little visitor:

Well, isn't that nice! A proper vigilante must always mind his manners! Mama Bat would be so proud.

Polite!Batsy calls his good pal, Commissioner Gordon, giving him the address of the bound-up baddies before departing. It seems he has some unfinished business to attend to across town:

OH MY GODS! Frenchy!Blake! I wondered where Lame!Blake had gotten off to...

Imagine Frenchy!Blake’s surprise when it’s not his boys on the other side of the door, but Batsy himself!

Candy-gram! Understated, and yet, right on par with what I was JUST saying.

Surprise!Batsy clocks Frenchy out the window, only this time, he doesn’t let him fall to his death:

Let's see... fall to the death or forced confession? Hmm. Decisions!

Frenchy!Blake agrees and Batsy hauls him back up to write out his little love note to the police, confessing all of his involvement.  As Batman looks it over, stating his satisfaction with the document, Frenchy!Blake has a change of heart:

SURPRISE! Attack pattern Frenchy!

Batman counters with a punch to the jaw before trussing him up like a turkey and hauling him down to the (totally not)batmobile:

Putting the "drive" in "Drive-by". Go Team Batsy!

The police drag Unconscious!Frenchy inside and we close with Gordon getting a gander at the note left behind:

Here you go, chum. I've solved the case for you. XOXO, Batsy

 

Also, I do apologize about this going up a bit later than anticipated, but I’ve been recovering from my post-Thor coma this weekend, with a full on write up of the experience to come. Also, also? Check out the new ticker on the front page, if you haven’t already. *grins*

 

~Go Team Batsy!
Snarkstress *H*

 


Share Post :

More Posts

Got something to say?