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Batsy Lets it Rain!

dc87intro

Issue #87, Detective Comics (May 1944)

Batman & Robin: “The Man of a Thousand Umbrellas!”

Tumultuous!Tuesday, Batfans!

It’s a lovely grey day here in Soggy!Seattle. It’s Election Day. The day when polls are guaranteed to be clogged with peeps getting out to cast their votes. Luckily, here, we get our ballots mailed to us so we can mail them back or drop them in the box at our leisure, so Dragon and I already did our civic duty and made our voices heard. Here’s hoping every American who *can* vote, does. Because, remember…

I, for one, cannot WAIT for the annoying political ads to stop. And at this point? I’m so tired of them I’m practically begging for too-early Christmas carols.

As for me, well, I wasn’t going to be doing a Bat!Snark yesterday, but then I got word on Friday that my surgery was moved from Tuesday to Wednesday. So, while I don’t expect to have a Thor!Snark up on Thursday, one look at Monday’s Batsy and there was no way I couldn’t NOT snark the hell out of it.

So let me get down to it, since the doc has me on a clear liquid diet that has left me with a case of Batsy’s grumpies.

NANANANANANANANA – ONWARD!

When we last checked in on our heroes, they were all suffering from a crazy case of the Bad!Day Grumpies, compounded by a crew of baddies who decided to chase away their own troubles with a rash of thefts all over greater Gotham. With a little help from Skinny!Alfred, our heroes managed to wrap things up and save the day (and the furs…and platinum… etc.) but now? Now they turn their attention to a much more annoying foe:

And so, a game of twenty questions begin:

Clearly, Brucie is unconcerned with skin cancer concerns:

And suddenly, it dawns on him:

And when you think of it, it *is* a little odd that Pengy hasn’t made a peep, given the circumstances:

Bored with beachside posing, it’s time to take this conversation somewhere more private:

They swim out far enough to not catch the attention of anyone listening in:

So what is this amazing plan our stalwart hero has concocted?

Apparently, this whole plan revolves around posing as Umbrella Repair Men, selling their services on the streets of Gotham in the rundown cart our billionaire!BFF has managed to wrangle up:

Of course, they spend the day out soliciting business but still, no Pengy, and poor Dick is distraught:

Speaking of:

He’s on his way to visit a jewelry store in the vicinity to make a purchase:

When the manager is called to help with the purchase, we find out that said emeralds have already been locked up for the night:

Naturally, Pengy decides to take matters into his own hands, gasses the pair and then uses an acid squirting ‘brella handle to break into the safe:

Everything is going swimmingly for our arctic!birdie when suddenly, they aren’t:

Unfortunately for him, the fall manages to break the handle of his favorite ‘brella, leaving him rather distraught:

Leaving the store, he stumbles across a welcome sight:

Thankfully, Pengy isn’t stupid. No, he’s merely passed the boy a missive, a note to take to the pair in the ‘brella!Mender’s buggy, asking them to meet him at HIS house (under the guise of Mr!Feather) to fix some busted ‘brellas. And so, for lack of anything else to do with their time, they agree and once there, are escorted in to view an impressive sight:

Upon closer inspection, Brucie and Dick realize that these aren’t just normal umbrellas at all:

After they’ve fixed all the broken ‘brellas, Bruce asks to meet this elusive Mr!Feather, only to be shut down by his butler and sent on their way. Naturally, this isn’t over. Fast forward a few hours and our duo is back, this time with capes n’ cowls:

Inside, Relaxing!Pengy reads on, unawares that his evening is about to get all topsy-turvy:

No sooner does he muse aloud about his foe, than who should pop in the window but the very self same do-gooder:

Unfortunately for our heroes, Robin was correct:

Of course, while Robin and Batsy do their best bug-on-a-windshield impersonation, our posh!Pengy decides to take a walk:

And no sooner does he leave than his henchies file in:

Pun!ching ensues:

And as final insult to injury:

Outside, Jaunty!Pengy waits for his crew, but after a few minutes, realizes that they probably aren’t going to be following him when they all run out the door and into the night *away* from where he’s hiding. So he slinks off into the shadows himself, upset NOT that he lost his hideout, but more that he lost his umbrella collection:

The next day, we catch up with our heroes post-smackdown:

But Bruce isn’t worried:

And so our heroes hit the streets, on the hunt for a whiskered fat man:

One by one, they make their way through the incredibly ‘brella’d crowd and finally discover just why there seems to be a ‘brella ‘splosion:

Inside the shop, we get a glimpse at a happy Pengy, hard at work:

Seems like everyone’s discovering new things about themselves and their jobs, this issue. In any event, later that night, our heroes decide it’s time to pay the newest Gothamite to achieve gainful employment a little nocturnal visit:

Unfortunately for our heroes, Pengy is already aware of their presence:

Downstairs, still under the impression they actually have the element of surprise, our heroes get to work:

Once they pop the lock they rush in:

Right then, Pengy appears and decides to be cordial:

As our heroes move to follow, Batsy manages to step on a hidden button on the floor, triggering the release of two cages that quickly trap Batsy and his boy. Batsy swears up and down that these bars won’t hold them for long, and this gives Pengy a little chuckle:

Plan fully exposed, he leaves:

Left alone, Batsy and Robin watch the clock, considering their options:

Batsy sees their potential salvation, but there’s a problem:

Taking his young sidekick’s advice, Batman whips off his belt and goes for it:

He snags a nearby ‘brella and pulls it back for the great escape:

And as soon as he’s free, it’s time to work on Robin’s cage:

Seconds later, true to his word, Pengy’s cages get all electrified, but thankfully both heroes are free:

Meanwhile, Pengy is off stealing pearls and causing mayhem:

Swooping back to his HQ, Pengy traipses in the door, expecting to find the smoking, charred corpses of his greatest enemies, but instead finds himself having to do a little quick thinking to avoid being carted off to the slammah:

Pengy, sensing defeat, grabs a nearby grey ‘brella that our heroes evidently missed tampering with, and makes for the sky:

Dropping like a stone to the pavement, Pengy makes one last dash for escape:

It doesn’t take long before our baddie finds himself hindered enough by the bothersome!’brellas to allow Batsy to catch up to him:

Until Next Week!

!!Snarkstresssig


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