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Batsy Gets A Little Strange…

Issue #36, Detective Comics (Feb. 1940)

Moody!Monday, Batfans!

The sun’s evil reign has come to an end, releasing the city from it’s over-bright, too warm influence, and has plunged us, once again, into the typical grey and cloudy gloominess the Pacific Northwest is famous for. Please don’t take that as a gripe. I do love our grey and cloudy conditions, partially because they make me that much more appreciative of the sun!

Of course, the few near-80’s days that we had unleashed a fury of insects who, I remain convinced, are bent on world domination.  My arachni-foes keep finding clever ways of sneaking up on me, even in the car, and so far, neither of us is waving a surrender flag. Damn them.

In any event, everything is quiet here at Hus af Snark, and this week promises to be full of all kinds of goodness!  Keep your eyes peeled for a few other posts that I have planned, aside from today and Emo!Thor.  I’ve been asked if I’m going to do reviews on Thor, Green Lantern, and X-Men: First Class, and to that I say yes. However, I’ve been holding back because I want to do one big post comparing all three, including Captain America, since that should be the last of the big Marvel/DC movies this summer.

But enough nattering!

NANANANANANANA-NAAAAA! ONWARD!

 When last we saw our Broody!Bat, he was laughing it up with Commish!Gordon after killing yet another Evil!Baddie via creative forceful application of statuary combined with gravity and pavement. In this issue, rather than leave the death at the end, we find our hero catching sight of someone flinging themselves from a speeding car before being gunned down in the street:

Hey! Wait a sec! That’s MY job!

 Batman decides this is the perfect chance to get some answers and cradles the victim awkwardly rather than call for help:

The Bat!Cell must be out of juice or he’d totally be phoning for an ambulance right now.

 Not getting anything really “useful” out of the victim’s last words, our hero decides to search Dead!Dood’s pockets for spare change:

…and, of course, a clue. Hey, don’t judge. Times are tough for a lonely billionaire playboy. Every penny counts.

 Before he can take a closer look at the notebook he’s discovered, GCPD’s finest show up, mistakenly fingering Batsy as the killer and immediately start chasing him to shoot him down bring him to justice.  Batman flees the scene and disappears into the darkness, leaving the poor beat cops annoyed:

Who knew it was that easy to get the boys in blue to back off? Find a dark alley and hide, they’re bound to give up eventually.

 Back at home, Brucie broods about his latest case:

AKA billionaire playboy, AKA man-about-town, AKA the guy with the snazzy smoking jacket…

 Somehow, he manages to puzzle out what Dead!Dood meant with his cryptic message:

Of course! Why didn’t WE think of that? Oh wait, yeah, that’s right… we’re not Awesomesauce!Brucie.

 Flipping through the notebook, Bruce discovers that Dead!Dood wasn’t just some poor schmuck who found himself on the wrong side of Professor Hugo Strange. No, he was an FBI G.Man infiltrating the criminal underground! Bruce knows just what to do:

*blinks* Sit tight? That’s your grand plan? What the hell, Batman!

 Meanwhile, in the evil lair of Professor!Strange:

Misshapen head? Check. Malignant smile? Check. Evil brooding baddie bent on world domination? Check and check. We are a go for villainous intent!

 A henchman interrupts to explain about how they stupidly let the Batman get ahold of the Dead!Dood.  This, as you can already imagine, makes Professor!Strange angry.  He berates the gunman for not finishing the job, but realizes that since the G!Man is dead, there’s nothing useful he can tell his foe.  And this makes him weirdly happy:

Evil laughter is an essential tool in the Evil!Overlord’s toolbox, and it would appear Professor!Strange is well versed in the proper application of the malicious chuckle.

 The next night, an evil!fog does, in fact, blanket the city, making it next to impossible for the GCPD to do their jobs:

Bad for the police force, GREAT for the local donut shops! What’s a bored boy-in-blue to do when an evil!fog keeps him from his rounds?

 Apparently, this evil!fog lasts for the next few nights, proving rather annoying to everyone, most especially the GCPD.  Hoodlums taking advantage of the situation break into banks and disappear into the fog without a trace.  Commish!Gordon is perturbed at his mens’ ineptitude, and even the Batman is nowhere to be found:

Because he’d rather sit at home and smoke…and leap to wild, unfounded conclusions that require significantly more footwork to prove than he’s managed to put in thus far. Bad form, old chum!

 Later that night, a moving van is held up at gun point by some more hoodlums outside the Sterling Silver Company warehouse, looking for a quick score.  One goon holds the watchman at bay while telling his crew to clean the place out, but things don’t quite go according to plan:

SURPRISE! Witty!Batman! *intimidating flex*

 Having given sufficient flex time to his pecs to properly intimidate the goon with the gun, he bum-rushes the rest of the crew:

Oh I see now. That’s why he took so long to get involved. It’s damn hard work coming up with witty one-liners.

 Batsy apologizes for the rough-housing, fires a gun into the air to alert the police, and takes off into the night while the GCPD round them up. Your move, Professor!Strange:

I’ll crush him, yes…right after I get a medic because… Ow.

 The next night, evil!fog has returned, and the Batman ventures out to walk directly into the trap Professor!Strange has set up for him:

*facepalm*

 Finding himself surrounded by Strange!Goons, our hero makes a leap for it and swings to safety.  When they race after him, he changes tactics, instead taking them all out in one fell swoop:

Literally.

 Not content to just kick the crap out of the baddies, Batsy decides to show off:

Um, I think Zesty!Herc might have something to say about that particular comparison…just sayin. Also? You mean Batsy goes to a gym? REALLY??

 Of course, in his enthusiasm to show off, he forgets about one thing:

He really *doesn’t* have eyes at the back of his head. Oops.

 The goons load up our hero and truck him off to meet Mr. Large-And-In-Charge himself, who has arranged for an evening of festivities:

Kinky!Strange mistakenly assumes Batman’s costume is an outward expression of some internal desire for BDSM fantasy play.

 Beaten!Batsy flexes and snaps the ropes holding him in place, quickly following up with a gas pellet to knock everyone out. Everyone, that is, except for Professor!Strange, with whom he takes a more hands-on approach:

Bat!Lash! Take that!

 As soon as he’s got Unconscious!Strange tied up, he discovers that the evil!fog is being generated by a huge machine:

It also makes a damn fine cup of espresso.

 Off in a corner, a plea for help reveals another bound prisoner, the missing Engineer!Jenkins.  After Batman sets him free, he explains why Professor!Strange abducted him:

Science. It works, bitches.

 The pair work to turn off the machine and a short time later, the evil!fog lifts from the city and life continues apace in good ol’ Gotham:

A great man who kills people, son, and roams the night dressed like a giant rodent. A fine, upstanding role model for you.

 We leave Broody!Brucie at home, listening to that same broadcast, while Caged!Strange vows his revenge on the flying rodent of doom.

So…what? In about 3 issues or so, you think?

~Go Team Batsy!
Snarkstress *H*


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