One of my favorite comedians, Robin Williams, made a comment about Seattle once that I find incredibly true: “I was thinking of quitting coffee, but this isn’t the town I guess….Every five feet, Starbucks? Yeah! Tully’s? Yeah! Seattle’s best? Yeah, baby!”
I used to think he was merely exaggerating. I now know that he was not.
To put it into perspective, there are, within two miles of our house, TEN Starbucks stores. That’s just ONE franchise. I’m not including all the smaller coffee huts, drive-thru stands, and cafes lurking out there within that same radius. A guesstimate? There are at least 40 different places to get coffee within a two mile radius.
And keep in mind: we do NOT live in downtown Seattle.
According to The Daily Beast, Seattle is #1 among the most caffeinated cities in America. Understandable, what with this being the birthplace of Starbucks. (Or, as my mother likes to call it: Starbuckies,) There truly isn’t a corner in the city that doesn’t have a coffee joint within a stone’s throw. In fact, there is even a downtown coffee tour, offered by Seattle By Foot, just in case you wanted a little…guidance on your bean knowledge.
Coffee is a big deal here. So much so that there is currently a legal brew-ha-ha (see what I did there?) going on about how much skin a bikini barista should be able to show during the winter. Yes, I said bikini barista. They exist here. In abundance. Who doesn’t want a little boob with their bean, I mean, c’mon! And let’s not talk about the prostitution charges for the bikini stands, or the “bud” charges for another. Serious. Business.
Taking ALL of that into account, it might surprise you that we don’t drink all that much coffee. Shocking, I know. J tends to get a majority of his caffeine via Mt. Dew, while I…don’t. Don’t get me wrong, I love coffee just as much as the next person, but I’m not nearly as addicted to it as, say, my mom. My current love affair revolves around a nifty little machine called the Keurig Mini. (I just realized how many links I’m putting in this post, and I assure you, I’m not advertising for them, getting paid to put them here, or anything. I just happen to like showing you what I’m talking about and giving credit where it’s due!) Anyway, my Keurig dispenses coffee one cup at a time, which is a good thing because I tend to nurse that cup into oblivion.
There was a time when we’d go out and spend $10+ on fancy coffee drinks from local retailers, only to find that the tastiness of the drink depended entirely on WHO was making it. And frankly? That got old. Especially with J being such a diva about his coffee. Seriously. How difficult is it to make a vanilla caramel macchiato with whipped cream on top? Apparently, it’s rocket science.
In any event, here we are on National Coffee Day. I’ve got my cup o’ Jet Fuel with two splenda and some Sweet Italian Cream. J had HIS version of it this morning when I shuttled him off to work. And millions of people across the world are enjoying their own cup o’ bean today. Are you?
**Intro/Outro music provided by the Free Music Archive, titled “Message” and performed by My Teenage Stride**