Archive for December, 2011

Welcome to Woe!World

22/12

Issue #163, The Mighty Thor (April 1969)

The Mighty Thor “Where Dwell The Demons!”

Thundering!Thursday, Emo!Thor Enthusiasts!

One more day until my birthday. Three more days until Christmas. *Whew* Does the madness ever end?

We had a less-than-stellar anniversary because the Universe decided it would be fun to see how many obstacles it could throw in our path. It started with the car not wanting to start so I could get Dragon to work on time, followed by spending the day trying to find a mechanic that wasn’t going to shaft us on the cost of replacing the battery cables. And THEN the internet went out (well, the wireless anyway) and the huge hassle that followed ended up with a tech spending 2 hours in our house just trying to get the stupid thing working again.

At least the Universe decided to reward me for my not having a total meltdown by gifting me with coffee, a Kindle Fire, and the Woot shirt I’ve been waiting for. Yay for that. Seriously, you have to laugh, otherwise, you’ll just be a crying wreck. And that’s no fun for anyone.

Yesterday we went to a little German deli across town to stock up on Christmas Eve sandwich stuffs. They were out of brötchen (boo!), but they had the most AMAZING ham and salami. And gelbwurst! And butter cheese! And that’s not even counting all the other awesome European products they were peddling. Definitely on my list of faboo places to hang. The only drawback is how far away it is, but then, that had more to do with traffic than with actual distance.

Today, yours truly gets to go ham shopping for Christmas dinner. Color me excited. {/sarcasm} I just hope I don’t have to get violent with anyone in the grocery store because there is something about this time of year that just makes people act more idiotic than usual.

Speaking of violence…

ONWARD!

When last we left our flaxen-haired hero, he was speeding toward earth, hell-bent on saving the Sexay!Sif because, really, he’s under the impression she can’t take care of herself. And that is where we pick up in this issue, with Hero!Thor standing on a rooftop in NYC, emoing about having to find his lady love.

He spies an armored convoy speeding through the streets, soldiers yelling at the citizens to clear the area because there’s some big emergency taking place. Of course, that can only mean one thing:

He hammers after the convoy, soldiers talking about how they never believed that Thor could actually fly, but now that they see it first hand, buddy, they are BELIEVERS! When the cars finally slow down, Thor follows:

It would appear that there’s some weird glowy column in the center of the city. No one knows what it is, or where everything inside it has gone, and they warn our hero to keep his hands off because they *really* have no clue what it’s all about. And then the guy in charge says the exact WRONG THING to keep Emo!Thor on his best behavior:

Vexed by his hammer’s inability to break through, they see a shape approaching from the other side:

Meanwhile, back in Asgard, Daddy!Odin is in a pensive mood:

He sends for the “Keeper of Antiquities” who promptly arrives with his “Book of Ages”:

But he’s unable to find the secret of the incubation chamber from which HHH!Galactus spawned. And until he does, there’s still a threat to Asgard. Flashing back to earth:

The lone figure inside the yellow has been joined by others, and still our hero fights to get through despite the warnings of the soldiers behind him. Stubborn!Thor WILL get through this pee-field, damnit. Unfortunately:

They tumble to the ground inside the funnel, a tangle of bodies:

With a burst of power, Emo!Thor flings the Ugly!Mutates away from him and proceeds to open a can of righteous whoop ass on their grabby paws. They grab their weapons in retaliation and start shooting, which, naturally, escalates the ferocity of Thor’s attack.

No sooner has he asked the question than another, even uglier, Mutate appears before him. Chief!Mutate has Sexay!Sif in tow, held in place by Attracto-spheres that have rendered her helpless. Battle ensues between Thor and Chief!Mutate, with them exchanging blows…AND barbs:

Pretty!Thor takes a beating for a few nanoseconds before firing back:

Chief!Mutate prepares to use the same Attracto-spheres on our hero that hold Sif captive, but Gorgeous!Thor says him NAY and smacks the ground with his hammer:

Chief!Mutate escapes down a tunnel, and our hero decides to focus on Sif rather than go after his foe:

They hug and proceed to take a look around, finding themselves in another, more desolate version of earth:

The pair stumbles upon some old ruins that appear to be a museum of some sort, and a poster nearby showing the shift from Homo Sapien to Full Mutate confirms our hero’s worst fears:

They find the Research Center that had gone missing when the pee-funnel appeared, and our hero hammers them down to the sidewalk where someone waits for them:

Strange!Dood removes his sunglasses and suddenly, everything snaps into place:

Angry!Thor immediately preps to go in for the hammer-smack, with Sif at his side, but Doom!Pluto stops them both with a wave of his hand:

Doom!Pluto spills the beans about how he escaped (hint: there was television involved):

So he came to earth, found the Research Center and threw up the pee-funnel to transport it to where it now resides. Of course, he knew that Thor would be the biggest obstacle to his total world domination, so he abducted Sif in order to get our hero’s attention:

But before Emo!Thor can strike, Mutate!Underlings appear and blast the pair with weapons that knock both Thor and Sif out cold:

Pluto and his minions have a chuckle over taking down the Asgardian menace, but it doesn’t last long. Apparently, there’s some serious threat inside the RC that Pluto must eliminate if his plan is going to move forward:

Until Monday! Have a safe and happy holiday!

gttsig


The Cheese To My Macaroni

20/12

So close, no matter how far
Couldn’t be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters…

The year was 1998. The time, late December. Back when I was just a wee Snarkstress just getting into the online groove of things, I used to spend an obscene amount of time online in chatrooms (anyone remember mIRC?) passing the evening hours and chatting with a few folks that I’d come to know very well. I was fresh from a break up of rather epic proportions and feeling very RAWR about relationships in general.

I was NOT on the market, despite being single, and the very last thing I wanted in my life was a boyfriend.

And then I started getting these emails, jokes mostly, from an email address that I didn’t know. Originally I ignored them, thinking someone had accidentally added my email address to their list. But one night, whether it was from curiosity or just sheer ennui, I finally relented and decided to read some of the jokes that had made their way into my inbox.

And I laughed. A lot.

I never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don’t just say
And nothing else matters…

Over the next couple of weeks, I found myself intrigued by this unknown Dragon fellow, and after hemming n’ hawing around it, I broke down and sent him an email. I admit, I probably came off sounding rather bitchy. *laughs* I wanted to know who he was and how he got my email address. He replied, telling me that a mutual friend of ours (*waves at Kim*) had said that I might like his sense of humor, so she gave him my email and he just added me to his list.

Little did I know…SOMEONE was playing match maker.

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters…

He was an Army boy stationed overseas, just trying to pass the time, and I helped him while away the hours. A couple of months went by and I found myself eagerly clicking on my inbox to see the latest letter, to get the chance to talk to him…even if, at the same time, I was having a bit of an online fling with someone else. Things with dood #2 ended abruptly when we both realized it just wasn’t going to work, and I went crying to my Dragon, whom I’d become closer to than I cared to admit.

“Men are scum,” I whined to him. “They suck.” His response?

“Not all of us. Why do you let them treat you that way? You deserve better.”

I was floored.

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know…

And angry.

I was angry at him for being right. I was angry at him for being so far away that he couldn’t prove me wrong. We argued, and I resolved, then and there, that I was going to have nothing more to do with him. How dare he presume to tell me that I didn’t know what I was doing? That I was picking the wrong people? That I was settling for less than I deserved? Just who did he think he was?

That lasted about as long as his next email.

He apologized, and I agreed to be friends with him again. But ONLY friends.

I didn’t want to deal with the fact that I was really starting to fall for this far away Dragon in the desert.

So close, no matter how far
Couldn’t be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters…

Fast forward a few months: He informs me he’s headed stateside. And that he’s thinking about being in my area for a visit. There was a concert that he wanted to see, and I told him I’d try to get tickets. We exchanged pictures…and my first thought was: “Wow. He’s skinny. SO not my type. Good thing we’re just friends.”

He tells me he thought I was beautiful. I tell him he was delusional.

He still carries that picture in his wallet.

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know…

His picture did NOT do him justice. My first thought upon seeing him in person? “Wow. He’s really tall.” Quickly followed by: “Wow. He’s really cute.” We went to lunch at the nearby TGIFriday’s, and I watched him flirt with our server, because, y’know, we were *just* friends.

Jealousy slapped me in the face like a pimp demanding payment.

Good thing we weren’t “together” right?

Since I couldn’t get the tickets for the concert, he would only be staying a couple of days, and we made the most of it, falling into an easy sort of groove wherein I discovered how incredibly devious he was (via his “magic” massage) and how hard it was for me to not admit that I was feeling more than just friendship for this charming, evil, funny guy.

I pulled a few wicked tricks out of my hat as well (nothing like having a guy help lace up your low cut renaissance dress when he’s towering over you…especially when you’re wearing the dress to a Ren Faire HE won’t be attending, but Vince Clortho, Keymaster of Gozer will be) in retaliation. I dropped him off at the airport so he could go to Louisiana for the concert, and it was the most awkward, thrilling, heart stopping kiss shared behind the opened trunk.

Didn’t want to make VCKoG jealous. He was in the backseat, staring.

I never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don’t just say
And nothing else matters…

More emails after. And things got a lot more serious over the next few months. So much so that I was having trouble processing how I felt. It’s really difficult to have a long-distance relationship, on so many levels. But I had added external pressure to keep him at an emotional distance. It was an uphill battle, one that culminated in our breaking up just a week before he was slated to arrive for another visit.

I know. Shame on you, Snarkstress. I still feel bad about it. But I was determined that this was the way things had to be. “LDRs never work out,” I was told again and again. “Might as well just keep it friendly.”

All of that went out the window when I saw him again. And things went decidedly further than before, but still I maintained that we should just be friends, perhaps with benefits, but nothing more. But the funny thing is, the more time I spent with him… the harder I fell, despite myself, until I came home from work the night before he was supposed to leave and asked him, all nonchalant, if he’d ever consider being my boyfriend.

His eyes never left the video game he was playing. “No.” He didn’t even pause before saying it.

“Why not?”

“You have too many…quirks.”

That’s the point my heart shattered and I realized just how terribly I’d screwed up. The man I had fallen so head-over-heels for, who I’d shared SO much of myself with emotionally and mentally, wouldn’t even entertain the idea of being in a relationship with me because I was flawed. I left him there to play his game and had a little breakdown in my room, because I was determined to not let him see me cry.

He did anyway. He followed me in, sat next to me on the bed, and said the words I will NEVER let him forget: “There are other fish in the sea.”

Let me pause my reminiscing right here to explain how much of a bad idea that is to say to the woman who’s just asked you if you’d be her boyfriend. No, I think you get it. We didn’t talk much after that, driving in silence to go see a movie (which, I was so upset that I don’t even remember the NAME of it at this point, but I do remember sitting in the car and listening to Kashmir before going inside, thinking to myself, “What the hell are you doing?”).

He left the next day. A very different ending from the first visit. I went home and cried.

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters…

And then I became a stalker. Well, not literally. I wrote out the longest, angriest, most self-righteous email ever. I told him that he was a fool and an ass, that he was missing out on the greatest thing in his life, and BY THE WAY, HE had some serious “quirks” too, but I had been able to overlook them.

Then I waited. And waited. And waited some more. When I got tired of waiting, I tracked down the phone number for the friend he was visiting and called. They were at dinner. His friend denied that he was there, I heard him in the background and demanded to speak to him. The conversation was short, “I got your email. I’ll answer it when I get home. We’ll talk then.”

True to his word, he did. And I realized that he wasn’t blameless. I had been a total wishy washy snit.

We spent almost 8 hours on the phone hashing everything out, and the next few months were difficult, but when he told me he was going to move to Texas to be with me, I realized that he was serious about us. And the rest? It’s history.

Never cared for what they say
Never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know…

Our relationship hasn’t been easy. We clashed *many* times over things that were trivial at best, downright nit-picky at worst. We worked through the “quirks” and have built something solid and strong. I knew I was going to marry this man, and three years after we moved in together, I did. Our first two years as a married couple were the hardest in our relationship: we both did and said things we’re not proud of, that we can’t take back no matter how desperately we want to.

But we got through it. We survived it. We learned from our mistakes. We both grew up and learned that a relationship is more than just fire and passion, it’s communication and compromise. It’s responsibility. And it’s hard as hell. I think Louis de Bernières summed it up best (from Captain Corelli’s Mandolin):

“Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being “in love” which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.”

So close no matter how far
Couldn’t be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
No, nothing else matters.

9 years ago today, I promised to spend the rest of my life loving the man standing across from me. I’ve never stopped doing so, and I never will. He is my love, my life, my rock and my light. He’s my staunchest supporter and kindest critic. He makes me smile when I want to do anything but, he’s full of constant surprises and endearing quirks, he loves me with all that he is and shows it daily, and I consider myself incredibly blessed to have met and married the cheese to my macaroni.

He’s my very own God of Thunder, my Dark Knight, my Crazy Clown Prince.

I love you, my Dragon.

We may not be the richest people in the world, but what we lack in wealth, we make up for in love and laughter. I am proud to call you my husband. My love. My soul-mate. I don’t need a thing in this world as long as I have you.

You are my heart.

Happy Anniversary :)

1565842-1433018_batman_female_joker_super

~Snarkstress


Batsy Gets His Cave On

19/12

Issue #48, Detective Comics (Feb. 1941)

Batman With Robin, The Boy Wonder, in “The Mystery Of The Secret Cavern!”

Moody!Monday, BatFans!

So I finally sat down and poured through this issue and have finally found a few panels that are at least mostly snark worthy. I figured I’d better just buckle down and do it, because otherwise? We’ll never get beyond this issue of Batsy! And I *KNOW* the issues just get more snarktastic from here, right?

In other comic-centric news, I just read the entirety of Invincible through #85, and wow. Just… wow. That is seriously a superhero comic done right. Just sayin’.

This is going to be a busy week for me. Anniversary on Tuesday/Wednesday (yes, we have two…it’s…a really long story), birthday on Friday, and then Christmas weekend! HOLY MOLY! Guess it’s time to pull out the Christmas trees, eh? Good thing they’re tiny. Four cats is sort of a preventative measure against having anything taller than my knees in this house. Particularly if that something contains “shiny” objects of awesome for them to covet. Violently.

I’ve already made two batches of Snarkstress’ Crack Nuts for the holiday, and those should be going out either today or tomorrow. I still need to do the grocery shopping for the end of the week, and I fully intend on paying a visit to a little shop called Liebchen Delicatessen to pick up some Gelbwurst, butterkäse, and brötchen (along with some ham and salaaaami) for our traditional Yule-eve Smörgåsbord. Yum!

I finally got the opportunity to watch both The Fighter and Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, and to both of them…meh. Maybe I just wasn’t in the mood to watch movies. Oh wait, that’s right, we DID go see Sherlock Holmes 2 on Friday and YES! IT WAS AWESOMESAUCE! So, ahem. Go see it. Y’know…if you want to be entertained. Or something.

Also? Considering the insane amount of time I’ve spent playing the HIGHLY addictive Elderscrolls V: Skyrim, the following picture is an accurate depiction of comments made during gameplay (Dragon can attest to this because it amuses him every time I do it):

 

skyrimyo

 

NANANANANANANA-NAAAAA! ONWARD!

When last we saw our Broody!Bat, he was busily stuffing his cowled nose into the business of a family that wanted nothing to do with him. Somewhere along the way, the man who dresses up as a giant flying rodent to fight crime with a brightly colored underage orphan in bright “can’t miss me, it might as well be a bull’s eye target” colors, decided that he was the new Dr!Spock and would not be denied. Luckily, everything ended up working out for the best… more or less.

In this issue, we start off with another interloper, and nary a bat in sight:

He finds himself floating along this (surprisingly!) colorful cave, just taking in the wonders, the BEAUTY of it all, calling it magnificent. In another twisty surprise, Billy!Joe apparently has some surveying instruments with him (who knew?) and proceeds to run some calculations that reveal his whereabouts:

He races back to town, bursting at the seams to share the news of his discovery and he decides to just blurt it out to the first group of men he comes across in the local bar (as you do):

The next morning, the Criminal!Elements decide to pay Dear!Henry a little visit in his isolated log cabin out in the middle of the woods and try to … persuade him to reveal the location of the cave:

Somewhere along the way, one of the guys remembers something that could very well get them some leverage. See, apparently Dear!Henry has himself a daughter, Linda, who is a singer in an upscale club in Gotham. Fancy that. So two nights later:

Later that night:

Even later that night, in Linda’s dressing room:

Appropriately freaked the hell out, Linda does what any smart girl would:

Of course, the gunshot draws attention and Renaldo rushes in, Green!Not-Hornet hot on his heels:

As soon as Linda leaves, it’s revealed that the whole thing was a set up. Dead!Nick gets up and they all have a laugh at how gullible poor Linda was:

Meanwhile, Brucie is having a mini tantrum about Linda’s sudden disappearance when Reynaldo informs him that she had to leave:

Fast forward to Linda in Kentucky where she discovers that Dear!Henry is being told at gunpoint about her in-town shenanigans. She admits it was in self defense, and to do ANYTHING to keep her from prison, Henry decides to tell the crew where the caves are. The baddies tie up Linda and off they go. Meanwhile, back in Gotham:

Back at home, Bruce shares his concern with Young!Dick and the pair change into their costumes and head out:

They race through town to Reynaldo’s apartment, nearly running over some pedestrians on their way, climb up the fire escape and overhear a strange conversation:

Hanging up the phone, the Green!Not-Hornet sees the bat-like shadow on the wall and responds accordingly:

And our hero responds in kind, punching the green right off his suit until he spills the plan:

Batsy gets back to the car and it’s only THEN that he realizes that he forgot something slightly important:

Of course, Batman is correct, and everyone prepares for the mighty showdown. It comes in the form of the Batmobile plowing through the side of their garage hideout, followed by tons of ammo and table throwing:

The pair take out pretty much everyone, while Nick decides he wants to leave:

Robin lassoes Nick back in, blindfolds him, and takes him on a little trip:

They take the Batplane to Kentucky and moments later:

Guard dispatched, our hero knocks at the door of the cabin and gives the answering baddie a good, old fashioned, Gotham punch greeting before dragging Bound!Nick inside to confront his killer:

Batman frees the pair, and Dear!Henry agrees to take him to the cavern:

They hurry along, worried that Reynaldo’s crew has broken into Fort Knox by now, which, they totally have. They’re trying to loot as quickly as possible, but they can’t shake that weird feeling that they’re being watched:

Our Dynamic!Duo proceeds to clean house:

In the vault, one of the baddies decides to start shooting at Batman from above which alerts the nearby guards, who shoot them dead. Down below, Batsy makes short work of a fleeing Reynaldo, and turns in time to see Dear!Henry taking out some pent up aggression:

Finally, they explain everything to the Fort Stox commander, who bids them farewell with a salute and a thank you for being such great American heroes.

Until Next Time!

gtbsig


Galactus…A Baby Story

15/12

tmt162intro

Issue #162, The Mighty Thor (March 1969)

The Mighty Thor “Galactus Is Born!”

Thundering!Thursday, Emo!Thor Enthusiasts!

I know what you’re thinking. Snarkstress, you’re a lying liar. And you’re right.

I said I’d find something snark worthy in the issue of DC that was supposed to go up last week, but as of yet, no dice. Mea culpa. But I certainly did try. And we’ll see what happens this weekend, but with the way the last weekend went, and all of the holiday baking/card sending/anniversary & birthday celebrations going on next week (*dances about madly with her new Mini Marvel Thor cake pan!*, I won’t make any promises.

Easier that way, no?

Seattle weather drama continues. Everyone was in a tizzy about how terrible this winter would be, but as of yet, we’ve only started off being incredibly dry (“as dry as Death Valley” according to one of the news anchors) and cold. Who knew? The season is still young, though, and we may yet have snow for the holidays.

I’m not holding my breath. Partially due to the potential cold I’m developing. Woe.

So let’s let bygones be bygones, and move ahead with this week’s Thor-tastic Marvel offering!

ONWARD!

When last we saw our Thunder God, he was busy getting tossed about in space by Ego and Galactus, saving a Wandering!Wookie tribe, and enjoying spending time with his friend, Recorder. Having saved the universe from yet another epic disaster, it’s time to head back to Rigel and report on the aversion of the galactic crisis, courtesy of an Ego!boost:

The High!Commissioner and his wife, Pink!Tana greet the pair and prepare for full disclosure of recent events:

The High!Commissioner is confused about Emo!Thor’s reaction, reminding our hero that Recorder is but a robot and therefore HIS property to do with as he chooses. This information sends our hero into an emo!tizzy:

Inspired by Thor’s entreaty, High!Commissioner relents, allowing Recorder to live (and therefore, possibly, make further appearances in later comics) and with that said, it’s time for Thor to go home:

Thusly smootched, Emo!Thor whirls his magic hammer around and teleports back to Asgard:

Thor barely has any time to register his return, however, before he’s swept up by his good friend Foppish!Fandral and the Warriors!Three:

As the quartet rides to the main palace, Emo!Thor can’t seem to shake the sense of unease, that something else must be wrong. He asks about his good friend Brave!Balder, and Foppish!Fandral fills him in that Balder’s been a bit moody lately. Thor resolves to pay him a visit, but first, he needs to speak to Daddy!Odin:

Councelor!Torger turns on the cosmic TV and all that’s left is to wait for Odin to join the party:

When he finally DOES appear, he’s truly decked out:

Bowing and scraping occurs, and then it’s time for the real show:

Seems that all is not well in the universe, as Galactus hasn’t stopped destroying planets despite his retreat from Ego. Update over, it’s time to change the channel:

Daddy!Odin stops on an image of a dead planet, the one that birthed Glactus, apparently, and though it was once a vital, beautiful place, it remains now only a lifeless husk of a planetary shell.

But it’s not far enough back, so Daddy!Odin clicks further away in time, to see the planet in the midst of a mighty battle, the victor poised to swoop in and enslave everyone. But wait! Up in the sky! They see a ship and prepare to attack:

TTB!Galactus points a hand at the invading army and obliterates them with but a gesture and absorbs their energies:

He destroys his home world in his greedy hunger, and heads off to do the same to countless other galaxies and planets:

Daddy!Odin turns off the TV, having seen more than his share of destruction for one day, and Thor makes an observation:

A notion at which Daddy!Odin scoffs:

Voluminous!Volstagg decides it’s dinner time, and they all prepare to go nom, but Torger stops Thor (who was prepping to go check up on his good friend Balder) for a moment:

Before we get the chance to find out what THAT is all about, it’s time to flash over and see what Balder is up to:

Seems SOMEONE can’t get another certain EVIL WITCH out of his head and is slowly being driven insane:

Unfortunately, it appears Balder will just have to wait, because as soon as he heard about Sexay!Sif being in danger, our beloved Emo!Thor sets off for earth:

Until Next Week, check out this Soapbox blurb by none other than Smiley!Stan!

gttsig


Emo!Thor Rubs His Hammer Again

08/12

Issue #161, The Mighty Thor (February 1969)

tmt161introThe Mighty Thor “Shall A God Prevail!”

Thundering!Thursday, Emo!Thor Enthusiasts!

I’m sure you’ve noticed by now that there was no Bat!Snark on Monday. Easily explainable: I think I went through the issue about a half dozen times, trying to find a panel, ANY panel, to snark, and came up absolutely dry. But because I adore you, I will attempt it again, this weekend, and see if I might be able to eek out at least a little bit of snarky goodness.

The holidays are in full swing around the country, and I’m about sick to death of the holiday commercials and requisite holiday carols they’ve been playing to death since before Thanksgiving. Don’t get me wrong, I *love* the holidays. How could I not? I was born on the 23rd of December, married on the 21st, and for a week it’s ALL about the gift-giving/family/love.

But just once, I’d like for there to be a simple reminder to everyone that the holidays are NOT about giving gifts, shopping, and commercialism. It’s about family. It’s about being with your loved ones and being THANKFUL for what you have. It’s about being able to look around you, realize that in the grand scheme of things, you’re only as happy as the love in your life and you really can’t take it with you when you go.

*Sappy!Snarkstress is sappy*

Now that I’ve got that bit of fluff out of the way….

ONWARD!

When last we saw our hero, he was drifting through the cosmos like a bit of discarded dryer fluff.

Ego!Planet and HHH!Galactus were battling it out for the “I’m MOAR Awesome Than ANYONE!” title. And a ship full of displaced Wookies were hot on the trail of Thor/Recorder, to see if they could lend a hand.

Finally seeing an opportunity to help, Faboo!Wookies decide to bring the floating pair aboard:

**Snarkstress Note: I very nearly just ended the synopsis here. Because, honestly, what can you do to follow up those three panels? I mean really.**

King!Wookie declares that they pair must be revived, ‘natch, because:

And while the pair are gently stewed in some vita-liquid, we flash over to where Ego!Planet is still locked in a total stalemate with HHH!Galactus:

HHH!Galactus flings meteors, because, that’s what you do when locked in a power struggle against a sentient planet, and gloats to himself as Ego!Planet goes quiet. It doesn’t last long though:

Meanwhile, back on the Satellite of Fuzzy Love, our hero is finally waking up:

They are greeted by their fuzzy saviors, who have, thankfully, somehow managed to translate across the language barrier with a translato-ray, making it easier to communicate:

Introductions are made, explanations are given (Wanderers, Following you, respectively), and Freaked!Recorder immediately observes that they MUST abandon their mission because Galactus is too deadly. King!Wookie asks his fuzzy troops if they will let the pair fight Galactus alone, and they say him a HEARTY NAY!

Just then, reports come in that they’ve managed to find HHH!Galactus and he’s attacking the ship with meteors.

While the Wookies do just that, Emo!Thor and Obvious!Recorder head for an escape hatch to take on the baddies:

Unfortunately, or, fortunately, depending on your perspective, Ego and Galactus are way too caught up in fighting each other to even care that anyone else has entered the fray. Emo!Thor prepares to kick some righteous ass, while recorder:

Thor flings his hammer:

Mjolnir speeds through space and smacks Galactus right in the belly, catching his attention. Violently.

Mjolnir returns to our hero’s hand, and before Galactus has a chance to breath, Thor goes whizzing through space for a follow up:

Thor continues his assault, until finally, Galactus has had it:

Dolly!Thor finds himself flung directly at Ego!Planet, but surprisingly, rather than let our hero slam into his surface, Ego somehow manages to stop his fall and gently set him down instead:

Thor refuses to run away, and the Wookies, who have apparently been also saved by Ego!Planet, remain his staunchest supporters at the moment, despite having a rather fatalistic view of the outcome:

Of course, Thor rejects the idea, because, hello, he’s THOR:

But rather than throw Mjolnir again, our hero has another plan:

He tells everyone to hide:

And then he proceeds to shock and awe the HELL out of everyone:

The result?

Squicked!Out!Galactus takes off because this is much more than he bargained for:

The heroes watch him go and cheer triumphantly:

Of course, now that the danger is over, Faboo!Wookies realize that they’re a bit…screwed. Ship’s destroyed, stuck on a planet that is unlivable. They send out a scouting ship in the hopes of finding something…but wait:

Seems Ego!Planet is thankful for the help, and in an incredible act of kindness, he invites the Wookies to stay:

Until next week!

gttsig