Issue #133, The Mighty Thor (Oct. 1966)
The Mighty Thor “Behold…The Living Planet!”
Not really sure what kind of intro to do here, but I’m sure something will come to me later. Probably after I’ve already posted this, in one of those “Doh!” moments that tends to spring up after an opportunity to be witty has passed you by. And therein lies the awesomeness of blogging, because I can, at will, change ALL of this to look like I really meant it to be supremely witty.
Of course, I most likely will leave this alone because I love for my readers to know exactly how my snarky little brain works, from time to time.
Hey! By the way….8 days until Emo!Thor hits the big screen!! *ahem*
When last we left our beloved Emo!Thor, he was on a ship headed to
his doom the Black Galaxy, armed with nothing but his trusty hammer and a humanoid recording device (aka…another robot). Once inside, they found themselves face to, er, planet-face, with Ego…the giant planet that has been sending out pink rays of destruction at Rigellian vessels. Because, really… what DO you expect a giant, sentient planet to do all day?
Emo!Thor is, understandably, confused, and his recorder companion offers little solace, reminding all of us that he is, in fact, still a robot, by activating his Derma-circuits for maximum and continuous operation.
Did I mention they’ve already landed ON Ego’s surface at this point?
Ego’s face appears again, informing them both that yes, he’s a bio-verse unto himself. Dazzled!Thor, to his credit, retains that Asgardian pride that makes him so beloved:
Seeing that Thor is rather… put off by his appearance, Fabulous!Ego decides to try something else:
Once the vortex has subsided, Confused!Thor finds himself standing on a replica of Asgard, snatched from his mind and re-created by his hospitable host! He’s even taken a more humanoid form, to make it easier for the two of them (and the robot) to converse in comfort.
Humanoid!Ego leads them, by horseback, to the recreation of Asgard that he’s set up, and along the way, Thor postulates on why. Of course, Ego answers his question for him… He’s going to conquer all of space!
But let’s leave our hero to absorb that little bombshell for a moment and turn our attention to the ongoing plight of Harlot!Jane:
Speaking of Tagar, the man mysteriously pops into existence, looking like a mortal version of Daddy!Odin, ready to go:
Harlot!Jane protests, but Tagar will not be deterred:
Back in the Black Galaxy, Humanoid!Ego has finally revealed why he was so keen to talk to Emo!Thor:
As you already know, Thor refuses to have his ass handed to him in any form, so he says Ego NAY! Ego shifts back into his fabulous pink/purple cloudy form and follows up with another cosmic blow job that leaves our poor Thor spent:
As Humanoid!Recorder has pointed out, technically, Faboo!Ego wasn’t humanoid when he attacked, so his argument is null and void about being the victor. Faboo!Ego takes issue with that tiny detail and instead, reveals the rest of his grand master plan:
Faboo!Ego, on a serious roll, drafts what can only be considered an agent of fabulosity to send out into the universe, leaving Thor flabbergasted:
Just as Thor is about to hammer his point home, the Fabulous!Entity disappears, much to Thor’s irritation:
Ego, er, his face, anyway, disappears and he sends a large tidal wave to take care of the two, since he’s done playing with them for now:
What follows next … is difficult for me to describe. If you’ve seen the movie “Innerspace“, you’re already ahead of the curve on this:
No sooner have the words left our hero’s mouth, than they are suddenly set upon by the Ego-crafted Anti-bodies, and things quickly get out of hand:
Suppressed!Thor, tired of being manhandled in such a fashion, finally says enough is enough and does what he does best:
Grabbing Humanoid!Recorder by the arm, Thor drags him away from the fray, only to find themselves being sucked into another maze of tunnels as Ego crows about how powerful he is.
But enough of them! Let’s go back to earth and check in on our favorite new ruling Empress of Everything, Pink!Tana. It would appear that she’s still meeting with some opposition, this time from a snarky NYC police officer who’s precinct she just marched into demanding to speak with the leader:
She sends her little signal over to Rigel, but things don’t go precisely as planned:
Back on Ego, Thor is…having some trouble:
Shooshed!Recorder goes flying off into the distance, observing as he goes, how the rocks, like blood cells, seem intent on destroying him at Ego’s whim. Thor refuses to give up hope and goes after him:
Determined!Thor gets to his fallen companion just in time:
Our hero vows to break free of this annoying bio-verse known as Ego, and, hefting Grateful!Recorder over his shoulder, he shows us all just why HE is the Thunder God of Awesome:
Defeated!Ego is thoroughly annoyed because, hey, who really likes to lose? So he does what any drama-queen will do when they’ve been shown up:
Our hero hammers away, his trusty Humanoid!Recorder over his shoulder, heading back for Rigel, but there’s a feeling… a feeling that something is wrong back on earth.
But you’ll just have to wait until next week to find out! Until then (from Tales of Asgard):
~GO TEAM THOR!